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    Tuesday, January 30, 2007


    mann! i wanted to upload pics of marcia n moi by the poolside last sunday but my stupid uploading thingy isn't working. better luck next time!

    anyway. i never asked. how are my readers (if i have any left) doing? tired of listening to my self.. pitiful.. ness, i think.. XD i have figured the source of my bad moods and feeling sorry for myselfness. its from all this heat!!! omg, it just GETS to me so bad, its unbelievable. first, i feel like my skin is dry and burning up. then i start to get sweaty. thats not so bad. then the ITCHYNESS kicks in. omg, i cannot STAND being itchy. its just like.. aargh! and then the heat makes me feel tired and sluggish and when i DO sleep i wake up feeling like i was just put into an oven and i'll be sweating and all and i'll just feel really terrible. so there you are. mom says i have to learn to curb my temper. i just think i should lug an icebox full of ice and bring powder and a towel with me wherever i go. @.@

    yup, so there's the reason for my angernosity and bad moods. cheerio, i feel better now!

    Thursday, January 25, 2007

    feeling blue.

    fat days are blue days.

    i have fat days. usually i have none to one a week. this week, i've had THREE.

    this CANNOT be good. @.@

    fat days. yuck. i hate the sound of them. bleaghh... fat fat fatty days.


    oh well. tomorrow its merentas desa. OH NO. i hate merentas desa. being forced to run. yuckety yuck yuck.

    its tres awesome though, when i got to wear my bikini to go swimming last sunday. it wasn't a fat day! lol. good day good day. i want a good non-fat day. @.@

    i must be going crazy. don't listen to my mindless ramble.

    Monday, January 22, 2007


    i am SUFFERING. suffering from..

    hottie deprivation.

    ah, the throes of an all girl's school. no hotties. no uglies even!!

    unless i become a lesbo. NOT LIKELY. sigh.

    so here i am. liking you only because i have no one else to like. or maybe i'm becoming shtupit. or crazy. whichever.

    i still love you even if i think i'm shtupit to do so.

    a secret i've been keeping for so long, i've kept so well.

    Saturday, January 20, 2007


    resonate was awesome. we didn't get to take alot of pictures, but it was still awesome. btw, awesome is my new favourite word XD.
    when i got there, the first person to spot me was shammie, in the carpark. chanette and sarah voon too. then we went up and helped mom set up the booth for the men's camp thingy with my dad. mel came behind me and tickled me, she was LUCKY i didn't scream okay! i was on the verge of it, she scared me half to death. anyway, then nick saw us too and sara saw marcia, so we went in and it was all dark, i couldn't see anything! there were lights at the stage, thankfully. so we went there and found marcia and dropped our bags then i went out to find nicole. found her, grabbed her and dragged her in. we found tze quan too! and i made a new friend from china, her name is faith. dunno if i'll see her again though. hope so! ^^
    at first, it didn't seem like alotta ppl were there but they started the praise and worship anyway, and it was so AWESOME!!! hahah... the exist band rocks. as the music started, more and more people came in. lynette arrived and told us khai couldn't come, awwww.. marcia and i were disappointed. but some things can't be helped, i guess. we wished you were there khaii!! ^^ then, yeah, JUWITA SUWITO CAME AND SANG!!!! she's awesome, she really is. oh yeah, and to my dear ms. kow, your dear *ahem ahem* was like on the stage the WHOLE time eh *nudge nudge*. anyway, yeah, then ps lee choo came and gave her sermon. she was so KEE-YOOT! i loved her pants and shoes. tze quan said she looked like a pop star *kekk kekk*! but she was so cute, jumping up and down and squealing and everything!!! then we had to pray for the parents, and i felt this hand pull at me and it was emilyn's mom. so i pulled lynette with me. ><
    AND I MET JUWITA SUWITO IN THE LIFT! SHE SIGNED MY PURSE AND WE GOT A PICTURE!!!!!! yay meee, yay meeee. well, thats it folks. love you guys! khai and sammie, wish you guys were there too. :) next time yah!

    Friday, January 19, 2007

    death by homework

    my home work says :

    *die die*

    shtupit homework.

    Monday, January 15, 2007


    okay, i know this is a weird topic, but i so happened to be reading so much about it i thought it may be a good thing to blog about. plus, once you hear the extreme measures people go through, you'll be stunned. i was, its crazy.

    plastic surgery.

    *everyone's eyes pop*

    hahah... i just read this book called 'fix' and an article in Girlfriend magazine. according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (betcha never knew it existed!), teens account for 4% of the US plastic surgery market - a 14% rise since 2003.

    why are teens doing this for? well, for one thing, you only have to step out into the malls and there you'll find the answer. we can see those osim uzap girls parading around one utama and ikano and we see newsstands with magazines with these supah hot models and celebrities on them posing and then we see these gorgeous skinny things floating around with hotties anging on their arms panting and drooling and showing them off like prized trophies. areyou surprised? has society brainwashed us to see these as "beautiful"? so much so that girls who are considered as "fat" or "tubby" will go to extreme measures just to look like one of these little things, just so we can fit into what the society, what the world sees as "beautiful". extreme measures are? crash diets to extreme makeovers to going under the knife to physically alter your body.

    however. most teens don't realize the risks and trauma they're putting their bodies through. all they want is the end result, what they see when the plastic surgeon digitally alters their image and thts what they see.

    as with any medical procedures, there are always risks and side effects. negligence claims against plastic surgeons who've done botched jobs has jumped more than 70% between 1995 to 2004. industry experts blame it on the increasing number of unqualified cosmetic doctors and a boom in overseas surgery. more and more young girls are going to Asia where they canhave their surgeries done at a fraction of the cost of an Australian clinic. unfortunately, many of these so called cosmetic surgeons are NOT qualified, leadig to disastrous results - from hideous scarring to infected breast implants to failed tummy tucks. one young australian woman ended up with a 2cm bald strip across her scalp after a bptched eyebrow lift in thailand, another returned home with no cleavage after her breast enlargement ended in disaster while another's breast implants ended up as high as her collarbones. if that wasn't scary enough, there is also the risk of hepatitis and HIV *adapted from Australian magazine, Girlfriend*

    but some teens actually know all the risks, all the procedures, all the side effects. so why do they still do this? think about it. turn around. look! there's jessica simpson in her hot pants strutting around. turn around the other way. look! there's paris hilton in her flesh showing dresses and the shrinking bodays of nicole richie and lindsay lohan. these are considered "the perfect bodies". are they really? if you ask me they look plain awful, but look what the world has brainwashed us into thinking. i have friends *guilty as charged, you know who you are!* who look perfect to me, saying "i'm so fat now! i need to get skinnier" and quite often i feel like screaming. these people are already in their perfect shape, these people are all of twelve and thirteen and already they're talking about diets and exercise regimes. i mean, hello?!?!!? what the heck is going on around here? are we doing this to please people around us or to please ourselves. i can tell you, three quarters of it is trying to please others. i wanna be skinny too, but i know that i wanna be skinny just to please others, to be goggled at, but its not the life for me. who WANTS to have to worry about how many calories are in your next meal? who WANTS to have to constantly worry about what other people think? who WANTS to go through everyday knowing the only reason they're beautiful is because its NOT real? who WANTS to go through everyday having to worry about they're silicone boob implants breaking and leaking or having to worry about the cost of their next surgery?

    certainly NOT the life for me. what about you?

    Sunday, January 07, 2007

    i've been thinking about this question ALOT lately, way more time than i should be using to think about it, but oh well.. the question is, what is real love to me and to the people around me?
    well.. my answer to that question would be this : i truly believe that love is a friendship on fire. i want my lover to be my best friend as well. real love is when the thought of that one special person just touches your mind and you feel all happy and you just smile. when you can go around all day and not have to worry about them all the time but yet thet're always on your mind. when you want to let them know you love them and when you just say "i.." they finish the sentence for you. love is when you can talk to that person about anything and everything, whether it makes sense or not. its when they laugh with you when you're happy or cry with you when you're sad. they know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. when trials come your way, they do their best to protect you or to help you. its when you KNOW that things are gonna work out fine just because they are there. they don't have to like the same things you do, and they know how to make you talk and laugh and smile and argue with them in a friendly manner. you don't have to touch or kiss or hold hands, all you have to do is look at them and smile and you know you're loved, you're safe, you're wanted and you're needed. when you KNOW that yeah, THIS is the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with because they make you feel comfortable, they allow you to make your mistakes and they hold your hand throught he consequences, you wanna spend your life with them because of the sole reason, that you love them.
    so yup, thats it. what about you guys?

    Saturday, January 06, 2007

    when i was small..

    when i was small (and still undeniably adorable) i used to have these big big dreams. i mean, really big. i was gonna grow up and get good good grades in school, so good that my mommy was gonna tell everybody how good i was. then i would go to the best college or university in the world and when i finished there, i was going to be rich and famous, a singer or a dancer or something. everyone, EVERYONE was gonna love me and the world was gonna kiss my feet (i was extremely ambitious. some people may say i was kiasu XD). i'd buy a mansion for my parents and let them have their own servants and everything.

    and then my love life would kick in. hahaha.. i was such a dreamer about my love life, i'm a sucker for romance.. well.. then one day, i would be just walking around looking at something and then he would see me as a vision of pure simple beauty.. he'd come up to me and ask my name. and everything would escalate from there, he'd take me on the most romantic dates, candlelit dinner, picnics by the beach, everything you can think of.. he would do the cutest things for me like leave notes on my door and flowers and chocolates on my doorstep.. and when i was sad he would come and cuddle up with me and tell me everything would be okay.. and then one night, when we were sitting under the stars, he would suddenly propose to me.. and yup.. we'd get married in a beautiful church and live in an amazing house..and the rest.. is inside my head, you guys don't need to know.. :P

    anyway.. today was the first day back in nst! we were supposed to write letter to our future selves.. and well, i haven't gotten round to doing that yet.. maybe the next post i will.. anyway, its getting late and i have tuition at 8am tomorrow morning.. so good night ppl! :)

    Friday, January 05, 2007

    MOMMIEEEE! and forgotten person, heheh

    thish ish for my mommy... :D

    mommy, i love yah, i love yah love yah love yah... ^^ thanks for the whole of 2006 and thirteen years before that. i want you to know that you really are the greatest mom i can have especially when you're the only one i have! :) thanks for all the times that you've listened to me and the times that you heard me talk. i hope you know how much i appreciate you for all that. i'm sorry for eveything wrong i've done to you, the lies, the disappointments.. everything.. i hope you forgive me and i hope we'll put it behind us and move into the new year with no more burdens and hurts.. i love you, truly i do! :) *mwaah* i just hope you know that as we go through more trials and more tribulations, that you know i'll be there when you need o vent or something.. lol.. :) God bless, i love you!!!!!!

    people i forgot to put into the first post! sowee!

    marcia : i love you my cousin! hahaha.. you're more like my good friend than that and most people do NOT believe that we're related.. :P here's some advice ><

    1. STOP being negative about yourself.
    2. stop BEING negative about yourself.
    3. stop being NEGATIVE about yourself.
    4. stop being negative ABOUT yourself.
    5. stop being negative about YOURSELF.

    yay! move into the new year HAPPY! :) PS. if you talk about money again, i swear i'm gonna take it all away from you. *grins* i love yah!

    tze quan : two words: you rock. and thats ALL i need to say. :)

    isaac : you are so weird.. :P hahaha.. but i'm glad to have met you in 'click click carrot and stick' and i hope we'll continue to be friends! i hope that all through 2007, i'll get to know you better.. and expect late night calls from me asking you about math homework, okay? can't say i warned you.. :D love yah! :)

    and i think thats it.. :) bye all!

    Monday, January 01, 2007

    new year, new days, new starts and new relationships

    happy new year everybody! it seems like just yesterday i was reminiscing about 2006.. wait, it was just yesterday.. hehe.. :) anyway.. here goes.

    people i wanna acknowledge for seeing me through the year of 2006.

    nicole : last year marked the 10th year of our friendship and i felt that God really put our friendship to the ultimate test last year. you tested my faith, my strength and especially, my patience *keekee*. thank you for being there for me when i needed you and for being blunt when i needed it most. for being real to me and for being such a pain in my ass. that helped me build my patience, lol. most of all, i'm glad i met you 10 years ago because if i hadn't, God knows where i would be right now. thank you, biatch, i love you.i wanna apologize if i have done any wrong towards yo and i hope you will forgive me as i forgive you the wrongs you have done towards me, intentional or unintentional. :)

    samantha : i have gotten to know you so much better through the past year and i have seen you grow and become a more matured person than you were when you first came. you broke your bondages and you were set free. a piece of advice : don't let the throes of "love" get to you. you are so young and have so much more to learn about it. love is something that cannot be comprehended easily and cannot be forced or pushed. i pray for you that this year will be a year of learning of what exactly love is. thanks for all the late nights and smses and chats and thank you for keeping my secrets. i hope that even as or friendship grows, that i will know you better and i hope i can be of help to you. i'm sorry for any wrongs and i sincerely hope you forgive me. i forgive you for your wrongs because i know that none of them were intentional. i love you. :)

    shammie : first off, i want to apologize for isolating you and for ignoring you even when i saw how clearly you crying out for help. i hope you forgive me. it was simply awkward to talk to you after all the "stories" i heard. that was very wrong of me and i sincerely apologize. even as this is the new year, i pray we will start afresh a new friendship. i pray this year will be a great ear for you, of learning and of loving unconditionally. i hope that this year, you will learn not to depend on boys or even other people, but you will learn to depend on God more and more. He loves you so so much. do what pleases Him and He will bless you. :)

    nick : thank you, nick. thank you for everything this year. i apologize if i hurt you in any way, and i know i have. please forgive me, for i did it out of the best of intentions. i hope that you will find peace in a new start and in a new year. i pray that you will learn to depend on God more than ever. and i pray for a good friendship. i know that you go through alot of hardships and i want you to know that, hey, man will fail you. again and again and again. but you know what? you have inside your heart a God who loves you, protects you and who loves you unconditionally. He will never ever fail you. He will carry you when you are too tired to walk anymore and when you look back on your life, you will see only one set of footprints when you in times of trial. those are the times He carries you. He died for you. He rose again. He loves you. and He will not fail you. God bless you. :)

    michelle proctor : okay, not like you will EVER read this blog, i don't expect you too. but here's what i wanna say : i have so much respect for you. your perseverance and your amazing faith in God. reading your story in the 10th anniversary publication has inspired me and given me faith. i'm glad i had the oppurtunity to work alongside you before you left for england. i pray you will find your calling there and may God be with you wherever you go. God bless you, miss michelle proctor, and i will never forget you for your hard work and scoldings*hahaha..*. :)

    timothy : remember the times in the old church buildings when a group of us would go into the dome or the dance room and just talk about everything under the sun? i remember those times well and those were the best times. now : what has happened to the timothy we knew? he is now an introvert and appears to be dependant on people, especialy the opposite sex. tim.. i miss the old tim. the one who wasn't afraid to spell out his opinions and feelings and who was dependant on the only One who truly loved him. i pray that this year, you will begin to get to know yourself better. spiritually. what we see now is a shadow of your former self. you are no longer there. there is only so much that we, as your friends, can help you with. but i am confident that God is able to guard what you have entrusted Him. don't misuse that trust, tim. God loves you and we love you and we hope you will come back to being the timothy we knew. i just wanna be your friend and i will try. but you have to want to help yourself. i pray for you everyday. :) come back, tim, come back. we truly miss you.

    philip : we didn't talk much last year! but thank you anyway for listening to me when i opened my big mouth and started babbling about nonsense that you probably didn't even care about.. :P well, i hope that we'll get to talk more about stuff and yeap, you take care. we're gonna miss you if you go away! don't go away... :( hahha.. well, i hope you know when God has called you there! :)

    melissa tee : i love you my dahling! even when you open your big fat mouth.. >:3 well, we all do that, don't we? hahaha.. i've gotten to know you so much better all through last year and i hope that we shall remain friends throughout the conflicts and trials we always have! i hope you will find peace and a place to put your burdens, your hurts, your regrets and your pains down. God is willing to take them away from you if you will only just let Him. He is all too willing to do that for you. God bless you my dear! i love you loads. :)

    ivan : you truly are one of the horniest guys i know!!!!!!!!! hahaha.. :P but we love you for it, i guess.. hahah.. i have a new year's resolution for u! stop writing like an ah beng in your smses, its annoying!!!!!! lol.. i guess thats what makes you you.. anyway.. i'm so glad i know you, if i didn't i'd probably cry when somebody calls me 'city girl'.. and yup.. i'm glad to have shared your romantic escapades with you and i'm glad to have been with you through them.. i wanna apologize if there's anything i've done to offend you *like being anoying, i do that alot* and i hope you forgive me.. i love you man, you're my good friend. God bless! you'll become a great leader.

    inessa : girl, you're name wil go down in history some day! i admire your creativity, your originality and your confidence. watching you at your artwork is inspiring and i think its just incredible!i'm really glad that i got to know you even during the mother daughter thingy and you've truly been a blessing to me. :) i mean it, you are. keep being incredible, keep being original. thats what i truly love about you. just keep being who you are inessa! there's no need to be anyone else. :P

    khai weng : heyy kura.. first off, i wanna apologize to you because i know i piss you off alot.. :P i don't know why, it just happens.. well, i'm sorry about it and i hope you can forgive me.. sorry i'm annoying and irritating, its just how i am at times... but hey, thats me. i hope you can accept me like that. anyway, getting to know you since kidzone boot camp has been a blessing to me and i hope to get to know you better even in 2007. i pray God will give you the patience to put up with me and my annoyingness.. XD God bless you!! i hope you won't feel lonely again.. :)

    lynette : mommy! lol. thanks for being there at awkward times *you know* and for just being my friend. you're a great person and i just know that God will mould you and shape you into a woman of His Word. just keep going strong because i know you're facing some trials right now. but remember that, we're your friends, you can talk to us anytime. :)

    to everybody else i've met this year, debbie, may gan, i love you guys and i hope you guys will continue to love! :)