hot tears

today, i cried.

why? i don't really know either, actually. the lump rose in my throat and next thing i knew, the tears were just spilling over.

maybe its because i didn't let myself cry the other day when i felt that i (and a couple of others) were being treated unfairly. i kept my jaw stiff.

maybe it was because i didn't allow myself to cry when i went to pay my respects to uncle boon the other day. i didn't want to set everybody else either.

maybe its because today, anysa's dad wanted to get rid of coco for no good reason and when i asked my dad if we could keep her temporarily and he didn't get it. he said they couldn't just throw her out like that.

they can and they would.

maybe its because i just haven't cried in a long long time.

but it felt good. sometimes, if it makes me feel better, i'll just cry. and it helps. even if it doesn't do anything for me.

so, here's to hot tears, stuffed noses and lumps in throats.

you help me.