hot tears

today, i cried.

why? i don't really know either, actually. the lump rose in my throat and next thing i knew, the tears were just spilling over.

maybe its because i didn't let myself cry the other day when i felt that i (and a couple of others) were being treated unfairly. i kept my jaw stiff.

maybe it was because i didn't allow myself to cry when i went to pay my respects to uncle boon the other day. i didn't want to set everybody else either.

maybe its because today, anysa's dad wanted to get rid of coco for no good reason and when i asked my dad if we could keep her temporarily and he didn't get it. he said they couldn't just throw her out like that.

they can and they would.

maybe its because i just haven't cried in a long long time.

but it felt good. sometimes, if it makes me feel better, i'll just cry. and it helps. even if it doesn't do anything for me.

so, here's to hot tears, stuffed noses and lumps in throats.

you help me.

goodbye.

the news is sudden
so sudden i don't have time to cry
but now i sit
and stare at the wall
to think about you
and how you were.

you were somebody's father
somebody's brother
somebody's son
and somebody's lover
somebody's step-father
somebody's friend
somebody's son
and somebody's shoulder.

you were a good man
and i can only cry
at the very thought
of the world losing another good man
such as yourself.

i'm sorry that i didn't take the time
to get to know you better
i want you to know
that i liked you very much.

now i wonder
how are the people you left behind
your wife, son, step-son and step-daughter
best friend, acquaintance, mother-in-law and mother
how are they going to cope
with the loss of you?
you were a light
but now the world seems so much darker
now that you're gone.

i can only pray that you are in
a better place now.
many will not get their chance
to say their goodbyes to you
but this is mine.
rest in peace, dear uncle boon.
you were a good man, a good friend
goodbye.

paint all over my fingers.

this year's christmas presents for YOU GUYS are a labour of love.

SO YAH BETTER LIKE EM.

:P

love, i tell you, love. lol.

last night, dakota made me tres happy. i'm sure when sammy reads this, she'll be swoooooooooooning and keeling over in happiness. lol.

dakota : how come u n sammie r still single? ur both rlly rlly pretty, guys shld be all over u.

me : i'm SO GLAD you think that way!!! well, here, we're not really considered "really really pretty", i guess. here, guys are pretty superficial. *

dakota : oh thts sad. well u n sammie are stunning and *ahem* sammie's the prettiest girl i've ever met. ur both way outta my league and any other guy's for tht matter. don't let anyone or even yourself tell you different.

me : OH MY GAWD DAKOTA I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU.

so yeah. he made me vair vair happy. :D

and he's my starfish and i'm his panda.

pandas and starfish. what a combination.

* the guys I know are not superficial. its all them others. i love you, philip, isaac, ben, and whichever other guys who read this blog! :P

ponder.

i put tht picture up coz she looked like she was thinking about something. :P

anyhoo. yesterday i was talking to dakota. no, not dakota fanning. she scares me anyway, except in charlotte's web, that was an awesome movie. :D

btw, this dakota is a guy.

anyway, so i was talking to dakota with sammie and then she went away so it was just him and me. and he asked me abit of stuff then he asked me if i was a christian.

obviously, i said yes.

then he asked me,"why do you believe in God?"

shit, got me there.

so i thought about it. for quite a while, mind you.

but i think i got the answer now.

i believe in God because of the life i have now. because of the people He's put around me, who help me and encourage me and thrill me. i believe because He's something to believe in and if i don't have something to believe in i will fall apart. i believe in Him because out of all the things i could believe in, He's the most solid, most trustworthy person i know and love.

:)

thanks for asking me, dakota.

*sighs*

my grandma is in hospital, so all prayers are most appreciated. :)

MY LIMEWIRE WON'T WORK PROPERLY, DAMMIT! hmph.

omg, i'm so addicted to hairspray now! elijah kelley rocks! he's sexy too.

i love :

Run and Tell That - Elijah Kelley
Big, Blonde and Beautiful - Queen Latifah
Without Love - Nikki Blonsky, Amanda Bynes, Elijah Kelley, Zac Efron
Miss Baltimore Crabs - Michelle Pfeiffer

:P i'm such a sucker for musicals, i tell you.

hey, FYI, i take GOOD pictures, okay?

for some WEIRD FOREIGN reason, whenever i tell people i like photography, they stare at me and go "really? hmm, i never thought you'd be much of a photography person." okay, so they don't say it, but i can tell by the look in their eyes.

I TAKE GOOD PICTURES!!

and, NO, they're not ALL of myself. i promise.

cross my heart. no, seriously. heyy, quit laughing!!

i think i should take up photography. like, a hobby. mom thinks so too. i do like taking pictures. i took some real good ones at the dedication service, just that HANRICK went and deleted three quarters of them. grr. lol, but the lala shot of tze quan was taken by me, WAKAKAK. good times. good times! XD

omfg, brad pitt looks so bloody hot in this movie. urh, which is.... meet joe black. yeah, thats right. pretty old show, apparently. he looks like a more intense version of jesse mccartney. :D

osh kosh b gosh! you know what? some people are like, GENIUSES. seriously! go to deviantart and you'll find out. oh btw, daph, here's me link. leave me comments, OKAY?! you have to!!

http://bobblehead-kate.deviantart.com/

go see my good photography and lousy poems! XD

just so you know, my "poems" aren't really poems, they're actually just crap i write at the spur of the moment. lol. :P

...

okay okay. so the party really wasn't all that. at least i got to meet a couple of new people though! haha. spent the whole night mostly talking to george and marcia. george and i teamed up against marcia and poked her. XD with our words. ekekekek. she was complaining of being fat again, okay!!! so the two of us were, like, honestly, shut up. :P

plus, george is pretty cute. :D

i went to see stardust todayy! it was pretty awesome, like i told daphnie earlier, a sci-fi comedy romantic movie all rolled into one. haha.. at the beginning, there's this guy who crosses the wall and then he goes to this other place called stormhold and sees this girl. so he buys a flower from her for with a kiss and then they go into this caravan at the back and sleep together. 9 months later, a baby arrives at the door. i mean, hello?! haha.. ben was like "geez, what a horny fellow, its only the beginning of the movie!"

SOMEONE FAVED MY WO-ORK, SOMEONE FAVED MY WO-ORK!

on deviantart, that is. i'm so happy!!!!!!

wakak. hey, if euu were me, you would be euphoric too, okayy!

:P

affection

i've been invited to a halloween party! yay me! XD

sorry. i've never been to a halloween party. and we get to dress up too! know what my mom suggested i go as?

a genie.

yep. a genie. so today we're gonna go to brickfields / midvalley to go find an outfit.

omg its gonna be so fun!!!