i was walking into school today and i started to think about my auditions. i thought, did i do well? would i get the part? would i get any part at all? if i didn't what would i do? was i going to freak out or cry or something? and if i did get the part, how was i going to redo my schedule? will the practices interfere with my tuitions and ballet and stuff like that? will there be alot of them, will i be able to make it to them all the time, could i be as commited as i'm expected to be? all these and more were running through my head. and i was thinking back, saying to myself, they should smile more when you go into the audition room. they shouldn't have chosen the piano room, it was too white and felt too much like going into a death room or something. there were to many mirrors, i felt so fat looking at myself in those mirrors. i didn't think i made a good impression. maybe meegee shouldn't have been there. maybe she should have. my pitching went off. was i good enough? was i bad beyond comprehension?
anyway. i was walking along, thinking about all this negative crap, trying to look at the positive and not really being able to find any. i looked around. people were still walking about talking about boys and clothes, doing their schoolwork, last minute homework and i thought, how can the world still go on? i guess it can. the world doesn't stop when you're sad or upset. it keeps going and going and it doesn't stop for you. and tht means, you'll just have to go along with the world, right? sometimes you an take a breather but you always have to go back. go back to the old routines, trying out new ones, maybe succeeding, almost not. but one thig's for sure : i had to tell myself, God's got a plan. and if its part of His plan tht you be in this musical, then you will be in it. if its not, maybe He's got something better in mind for you.
so thats my recap of the auditions. i hope i make it though. i do i do! ><