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    Friday, July 13, 2007


    the last post was an emo post, you guys. i'm allowed one every once in a lifetime, aren't i? but somehow i feel as if the two comments i have so far are judging me to be some sort of spoilt brat who doesn't know how to appreciate what life has given me. it made me feel really stupid and as if i asked for more than what i needed.

    i'm not asking for anything at all. i only needed to pour my heart out.

    maybe you guys didn't mean for the comments to sound that way, but it did come across like that to me. it kind of stung. like, as if i don't give things thought, as if i'm the kind who would want things to go my way all the time.

    just so you guys know, i'm not like that. i know i've got more going than all that. i just felt really really low. support and encouragement would have been nice. instead, i got text book answers and advice i cannot use.

    i truly appreciate the effort. and i know maybe now i sound like i'm really really ungrateful. but next time, when you guys decide to leave a comment, think about if you were going through the same situation and if that you guys would wanna hear those sort of things from others.

    my mom knows how i feel about school. we have talked it through. i know that if we cannot afford homeschooling for me after pmr (yes charissa, obviously if i change schools, it will only be after pmr. i do give these things thought), that i will have to continue at assunta and i am willing to accept that. financially, we aren't too well off, we have enough to get by and i thank God for that. but if its in His will for me to go somewhere else, that would be awesome. if its not, i'll just have to stick it out. i'm stronger than this and i know it. you don't seem to think so.

    and about my brother? yeah, i know that i don't understand what he goes through. he takes most of our crap. its just, you know, i never (hardly) complain about my siblings. this was a one off. it probably won't happen again or it may, but between extremely long periods of time. i am grateful for what i have.

    why am i sitting here and explaining this to you? because i don't like people getting the wrong impression of me. and anyway, i was planning to explain myself. but it seems like alot of people don't really care and the ones that do don't really think.

    but thanks.

    1 comment:

    Kimmy said...

    hey! haven't been reading your blog for awhile now. had a camp and been going out cause it's the hols. the last day now. no!!!!! hmm.. i just wanna say.. i totally know how you feel about school. i mean, yeah, i know i've only been here for awhile. but i really don't like this school somehow. i just don't. i feel really drained out in this school. there's no dance ot drama extra curricular activities. i don't have many friends i can actually talk to. and sure, the teachers like me cause i'm quiet in class but it's just because i don't have much to say to my friends. and just because i want to do well in school and i do my work and study when there's a test, i'm considered some weird smart ass nerd person. hmm. weird i accept cause i am weird but oh well. not the point. anyways, i don't really care though cause i really wanna get into a good performing arts college but it still affects me somehow. hmm. i'm probably gonna change schools cause i'm really unhappy here but i still wanna hear it from God. i mean, i wanna know whether it's God's plan for me to move to another school or if it's just me thinking it's God's plan. God's shared with me something that really touched my heart and opened my eyes and i'll tell you one day. in private! hmm. i don't know what's the point of this comment now but i just want you to know that you're not alone! i'm feeling the same way. different situation but i'm still feeling the same way. i mean, how would you feel if people just started calling you a flirt and a bitch just because you hang around with guys during lunch and recess? the pain will go away but the scars are always there. and friends are important. they really are. how do i get through with this now? i remember that God is with me always. even sometimes when i don't really wanna lean on Him, He's there. and i thank Him for that. and i try not to think so much! haha! i worry too much! ;P matthew 6:25 ~> 34

    Hmm. i don't how this comment will make you feel but just wanted to share with you.

    Love ya lots,
    Yi Lyn

    Jeremiah 29:11 :)