prison?

today i went to church. this guy called dr tim elmore was speaking and i realised alot of stuff today. the most impressionable things that left me nodding were how we treated our "prisons", which would be our problems. there are four ways :

one. we curse them. you know, we take the prison and we get angry at God and everyone around and you just curse it over and over.

two. we nurse them. this is a funny yet very true one. its like we take our prisons right? and we actually, not to say we embrace it, but we feed it. we go around carrying our prisons and we use it as an excuse to not do stuff. and we use it to get pity. i'm a pro at this one, no? haha..

three : we rehearse them. we go over the problenms over and over again in our heads, wishing we could have done this better, said this instead of that, gotten this instead of that. and we don't really let it go. again, yes. i am a pro at this. :P

four : the best. we use them. we use our prisons for something better, like Peter in Philippians. when he was in prison (literally), he praised God because God actually used Peter's being in prison to let others stand up and preach the gospel! how awesome is that.

so right now, i've decided to take my prisons, i.e., the portrait, ballet, etc, and i'm gonna let God use them for something else that will glorify Him. its no use pondering something in the past, its no use flipping the bird at everyone because you're angry and there's no point in using your problems to gain pity. all that makes you look and feel really really pathetic. sounds familiar? it struck real close to home for me.

i think i'll join the PA crew for the portrait. felix! is the offer still on? :P and i've decided to continue my ballet. well, at least finish this exam anyway. sigh. now i have to break in my new pointe shoes. :( haha.. its actually fun doing that but when we actually put it on.. ouch. ouch. ouch. thats all.

hahaha.. scheizer! i'm going swimming tomorrow. and i'm using the seventeen magazine summer splash thingamabob as motivation to get fit. XD haha.. yes, i believe tis good motivation! :P

i now love 30 seconds to mars. they make such awesome music.

NO ITS NOT JUST BECAUSE JARED LETO IS IN THE BAND! ><
*the fact that he's super hot makes it all the more better. hee hee hee.*

mistah bunneh, ben the "retarded reindeer" but isn't, inessa and me might be going to watch pirates this saturday. whoopee!!! i can't wait. johnny depp and orlando bloom. hotness personified. i haven't watched spiderman 3 though. my brother has been kindly enough not to give out details. topher grace - hot. also the guy who plays peter's best friend. i forgot his name. oh yes! harry osbourne. XD hm. oh yeah, i forgot to mention a couple more guys in the last post about hot guys. i forgot : clay aiken. enrique iglesias. ryan cabrera. rhys wakefield. the guy who plays isaac in heroes. also the guy who plays peter petrelli in heroes.

i feel bad for not knowing their names. :(

tata for now! :)

think.

yay!! my exams are finally over. two weeks of studying. now i can enjoy two full weeks of holiday! haha.. i haven't been blogging because the wireless is down. this is using dial up.

i've been doing so much of thinking these two weeks (other than exams) that i'm surprised my head hasn't exploded yet. first of all, the portrait. 'tis a popular subject these days within the walls of SIB KL and i am getting quite pissed actually. i'm very anger at kenny. i know that my cell leader and possibly other leaders are going to read this but i'm going to post it anyway. first of all, when we first started out the year, we had out first DnD meeting. which was like, at the beginning of the year.

kenny told us that we would ALL be involved in the portrait, all of us meaning all the DnD people. well, look at us. 5 months later and we're not doing a thing. all the people involved in the portrait aren't in DnD. and, according to marcia, kenny told her that he wanted to do a choir and that maybe the people who auditioned but didn't get in could sing. she was so excited about it. thankfully she didn't really tell anyone else because then there would be alot of confusion and disappointment. well, more than there already is anyway. kenny, i know that you said all of this with the very best of intentions, but if you're not sure, please don't give us false hope. we all wanted to be really involved in this play. especially marcia, sammy and myself. now its too late, its already almost june.

now i have to think about my ballet. its not that i don't love to dance anymore, but i don't know if i still love to dance my ballet. i really really wanna do other dances. and if i want to do other things, i will probably quit ballet because we can't quite afford me to be doing so many classes. but the thing is, i want to do performing arts, right? so i don't know if i have to finish my ballet in order to qualify to get into a performing arts school later on. i want to do stuff like jazz (which, by the way, people! kenny is teaching at my ballet centre starting june, so come join!), latin dancing and stuff like that. i love the latin stuff. its just so cool!!!!! ^^

and if i continue with ballet, i have to lose weight you know. and by losing weight, we're talking a teeny waist from now till september, which gives me less than 4 months to drop at least 5kg. like 1kg a month. omg omg i can't give up my food!!!!! si impossible. i mean, i'm not saying that dropping that weight is bad for me but 1kg a month is pretty drastic. so i will have to much deep thinking about this.

what else? there is more but i can't seem to remember it right now. well, i need to go take a shower. this heat is making me go nuts with uncomfort. ciaoz people!

*blank*

uh huh. i have exams tomorrow.

anysa and i are going to germany and we're gonna shout "scheizer!" because thats the only word we know.

my auntie is coming back from St. Louise on saturday. yay!

some people try too hard to be different just to be like everyone else.

i'm happy. today is a nice day. :)

i heart heroes!!!

i'm ushering in resonate this service replacing for my sis coz she's got sport's day.

uhm..

look! *points* a pig!

E.R. is on. byebye!

OK, i'll admit..

that i think these celebrities are super hot.

Adam Levine. he's pretty damn hot. yeah, he's skinny and all but i have a weird fixation with skinny boys. my brother will testify to that. XD
the All American Reject's frontman and guitarist. i don't know their names. I TOLD YOU I HAD STRANGE FIXATIONS! skinny boys, yah know?

Shia Labeouf. he looks hot in disturbia. the trailer, anyway. XD see? cute.
Joel Madden! Billy's cute i guess but he's too emo. way way too emo. sorry anysa! PHWOAR! celebs cam whore too. haha! i found this on Yahoo search and thought it was kinda funny.

Adam Brody (Seth Cohen, the OC). who doesn't love him?! excluding boys, obviously. unless, of course, boys, you DO like him. i forgive you. dorky kid, but CUTE.
Johnny Depp. AWESOMENESS PERSONIFIED! he's so damn cool. from Edward Scissorhand to Captain Jack Sparrow, this guy CANNOT go wrong.
okay, i can't find a good image of Ryan Gosling. but he's freaking hot. XD

others include:

Jesse Mccartney

Orlando Bloom

Pete Wentz

Patrick Stump

Rob Thomas *sexy*

Channing Tatum

Jared Leto

Ashton Kutcher (when he was a leetle bit younger)

Justin Timberlake

Jason Smith

That dude from Avril Lavigne's video "Girlfriend"

That other dude from Evanescence's video "Call Me when You're Sober"

sigh.

it appears that no one cared if i lived or died.

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms
And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what do you think you'd understand
I'm a boy
No, I'm a man
You can't take me and throw me away
And how can you learn what's never shown
Yeah you stand here on your own
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted I could be
Now you know me and I'm not afraid
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
How can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They can't see me
But I'm still here

They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah the world is still sleepin
While I keep on dreamin for me
And their words are just whispers and lies
That I'll never believe

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can they say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
'Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here

imprints on your brain

today i went over to sammie's house in hopes of going swimming when ivan, nikki, mel and khai came over. but no go. they were all TOO LAZY. lazy mugs. XP anyway. we ended up watching the notebook and you know what?

RYAN GOSLING IS SO HOT. SO SO HOT. OMIGOSH OMIGOSH.

incredible.

anyway. its such a sweet movie. a must watch with a boyfriend. lol. we spent the first half hour of the movie gawping and squealing and making stupid comments. nicole fell asleep so we got out the mayonaise (she HATES mayonaise) and mel squirted a leetle bit on her face and she woke up screaming,"WHAT IS THAT!!" than she tried to smear it on everybody else. it was so funny. and just for the record, I SUGGESTED WHIPPED CREAM, NOT MAYONAISE. THAT WAS MEL!

okay. we spent the rest of the time watching one tree hill, the episode where there was the shooting, like the Columbine shooting. it was such a sad episode, but there was so much truth in it. i mean, yeah we're all guilty of ignoring someone or putting someone down *intentional or not* one time or another, right? but why should some people get this kind of "bullying" more than others? its not fair. they are humans too. they shouldn't have to deal with the crap some of us dish out just because they might not be as smart, they may not be as pretty or handsome, they might not be as skinny or as tall. you know, they didn't exactly ask to be born. neither did we. but here we are anyway. shouldn't we make the most of what God has given us? shouldn't we try to make this world that we live in a better place? i'm not talking about the earth. i'm talking about our world. we all live in our own worlds, shouldn't we make it better for not only ourselves, but for everyone around us? by doing that, maybe we could actually change lives.

another thing that has got me thinking real hard. jimmy (the shooter) said that once, when he od'd on antidepressants he had to go to the hospital and all that for a while, a week or something like that. but when he came back to school it was like nothing changed. like he was never there anyway. nobody missed him. it shouldn't be that way.

if i got sick, if i suddenly disappeared, even if i (God forbid) died, would i be missed? would my absence be noticed, would things be different? more importantly, did i make enough of an impression on anybody's life for them to miss me when i'm gone? did i make anyone's life better? did i make it worse? would people be sad if i was gone or would they be happier? or would they not notice that i'm gone at all?

if i know my friends and my family well enough, i know that i have made an impression on their lives. but what if i didn't?

so you tell me. did i make an impression on your life? would you remember me when i'm gone?

"i am a question to the world. not an answer to the earth." -john rzeznik, i'm still here

ode to new zealand ice cream

oh new zealand natural
you are so beautiful
the way you slide onto my tongue, cold, sweet, smooth
a burst of flavours in my mouth!
and every thirtieth day of the month
you allow me to indulge myself just a wee bit more(not very often, just so you know)
i love you i love you!
you make me happy anytime.

blah..

nothing to write except.. i have a tummy ache.

indecisiveness

looks like miss alyana has changed her mind about her tattoo. not surprised! haha.. so now its a very pretty tattoo, its a whispery fairy girl. you can't see her face because she's kneeling with her back to you. alyana's planning purple hair and green tinged wings. the hair is a couple of wavy lines but i must say that its very interesting, sort of dark-fairytale kinda thing. nice. vair vair nice. :P


anyway. today the new restaurant is open! hurrah! its really really nice.mom and i went there after ballet class. so she met her old school friend there and his wife. she's pretty. lol. well, so they were rather loudly exchanging stories, but the whole place was noisy so it didn't make much of a difference. i was talking to megan. poor thing, she's got pn. gan as her english teacher. HAHAHAH.. anyway. uhm. right, so then my mom called me over to meet her friend. everything going nice and dandy, happy happy UNTIL. mom starts telling us a story about when this guy was her boss and she had just given birth to me and she couldn't breastfeed me properly because she was too tied up with work.


EMBARRASINGKIDOSKUDOSNESSOSITY. weird and embarrasing.


oh well. thats what mom's are forrrrrrrrrr.. so here i am.. immortalizing my mother's famous words so i will remember not to talk about breastfeeding in front of my kid next time. if it does happen to slip out, i know i will most probably be painfully reminded when i see my mother in the future. gray and wrinkly, still feisty, going,"HAH! I thought you said you weren't going to say anything? hahahahah! *koff koff* eat your words! *wheeeeze*"


she is laughing at me behind now. i have only one thing to say!


XP *thhhhhhpppppptthhhhhh*

shades of green

i saw the cutest pair of wedges today. it looked gorgeous. pastel green. with a small bow, not those huge ones that look incredibly tacky.


why didn't i buy them?


1. they were SO HIGH. if i wore them to church i'd be towering over everybody, especially phil. XD sorry phil.. its the grim truth. i love you anyway! good if i go overseas, but thats not very likely to happen soon now is it?
2. they didn't quite fit right when i actually put them both on. the side sort of stuck out all funny.
3. i don't think i'd get to wear them all that much.
4. if i tripped, i'd die.



yeah. so thats why i didn't buy them. but i want wedges. unfortunately, i think they're kind of out of style nowadays. i don't know but there wasn't much choice in vincci. hmm. i shall have to go... SHOE SHOPPING!!!!!!! anyone interested? :P


i wanna go and play pool for cell outing! its so cool okayyyy... hahaha.. maybe its just me wanting to brush up on my pool playing skills seeing how i've only gone to play, like, once. with ming yue and khai weng and sammie and nicle and mel. and khai's friend michael. and it turns out, I ROCK! exceot for the time i got this really easy shot and totally flopped it. i poked the white ball too hard i think. whatever it is i did, the white ball jumped OVER the 8 ball. the guys were all slapping their heads with their palms and groaning. *cringe!*hahaha.. it was pretty funny though. i mean. i'm pretty sure thats never happened to any of you guys before. who here can claim that they shot the white ball clear OVER the eight ball huh? XD


alyana and i discussed what kind of tattoo she's gonna get this weekend. we came up with all sorts of really cool stuff, like the rolling stones' classic tongue-sticking-out-of-a-pair-of-red-lips and a pink bomb which she got from a fallout boy *gr!* t shirt that she got. and now she's narrowed it down to three. a cross with a four leaf clover in the middle, very gothic-ish, the clover's leaves unfurling delicately from the middle. a blue shooting star, very sweet. and a.. i can't remember the last one actually. hmm. never mind that last one. i think she wants the cross with the clover. i like it loads too. she was colouring it today, showing me what shades of green she wanted and the cross was to be in shades of black and grey. tres nice. :)


when i'm working i'm gonna get me a cupcake tattoo! how cute would that be. nigella lawson, eat your heart out. then when i'm good and married, a symbolic tattoo. hearts intertwined, maybe? i have lots of time to think. haha! so cool. alyana, you're so going to be screaming when you feel that needle piercing you under your skin. so when i hear a high pitched scream piercing into the air, i'll look up and say,"oh! there's alyana." XD


i love graffiti. its so PSYCHEDELIC BABY!


verse of the day : ecclesiastes 7:8-9
"the end of a matter is better than the beginning and patience is better than pride. do not be quickly provoked in your spirit for anger resides in the lap of fools."


excellente!

room revamp

hey ppl! my mom says that since we have to repaint the whole house pretty soon, i can release my creativity and paint on my walls! so if you guys wanna unleash some serious colour splashing, call me and we can arrange a date okay? ^^ i'm so excited!



word of the week : psycho

why mika is gay and the gc concert.

this is written with permission from my mother.



me : oh look! (points at article about mika) mika is lebanese. i didn't know that.
mom : no wonder he's gay.
me : O.O


I DON'T CARE! I LOVE MIKA ANYWAY!

anyway. moving on. tomorrow is sports day in my school. pfft, as if i'm going. and i ALMOST got to go and see good charlotte but i can't. the story :


my brother got free tickets from digi to go and see good charlotte. FREE VIP TICKETS. so he said he would take me but then he remembered he has a dinner that night to go to, so he can't. so there i was, trying to find a guy to go with me (come to think of it, i should have asked felix. hm.) but no go. then, at 10something at night, ivan said he'd go with me. *jumps for joy* but 12am in the morning he smses and says his mom wouldn't let him go because he's not supposed to go out with a girl alone. ivan's mom, auntie, with all due respect, i'm not trying to date your son or anything!!!!!!!!! anyway. yes. so in the morning i told scott, never mind, if you can find someone else to sell the tix to, sell lah. IN THE AFTERNOON I GOT BEN TO GO WITH ME. but guess what? too late. scott sold them already.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!



sigh. moral of the story : mm.. can't think of one, feeling kinda DUMB. haha.. well, i guess its okay.. the concert starts at like, 7.30pm. so if i wanted to go, i'd have to leave the baptism at, what, 4.30pm? and the baptism only starts at 3.30pm. i think i'd rather be with my friends and have a good time at the baptism than be at the concert with people i don't know (because ben is getting baptised) and have a lousy time. so yes. thats my drama this week. :)


hmm. tim has taken to thinking he's gabriel sylar. hilarious, no? don't blow my brains out tim, noo! :P


bye ya'll! and to those who are getting baptised tomorrow, congratulations!! God is truly pleased with His sons and daughters. :)

i want..

alot of things.

"its fruity and delicious. its fruit-alicious!" :)
"good things come for boys who wait!"
"you're so fine i want you mine you're so delicious!"
"who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"
"he's BLOOOO-tiful!"

these are the few things i've been saying these past few days thanks to anysa and sammie. o.o yes i know. weird.

OH WELL. :)

:)

smiling is good. smile more. even when you don't really feel like it.

picture time!

inessa showing me the wonders of the macro function in the camera.

inessa made a new friend! you go girl.

death by balloons.

isaac's wish list : number twenty three

doesn't it look like him!

who knew isaac was such a poser? heavens above, i sure didn't.


ICE CREAM SOUP CAKE! ICE CREAM SOUP CAKE!

random shot but i thought it looked real good. :) look! khye shin in the background!

thats all for now folks! ^^

ice cream soup

heat heat heat has turned my ice cream into soup.


no. i'm serious. its soup.


its not even semi solid. its just soup.


our refridgerator won't close properly, which means the cold air seeps out. turning my ice cream into mush. mush. absolute mush.


ANYWAY. tomorrow's the hitz.fm thingy. i'd love to go but i can't. :( oh well. happens, right? have fun there, sammy, lynny, marcia and mel mel!!

ish! i haven't uploaded the pics from isaac's b'day yet. it was so awesome! seriously. and mitchell sucked up helium which made his voice go all funny and i got the whole video! next time then.



back to my ice cream soup then. :)

of rabbit and blonde jokes.

tze quan's rabbit joke. (she made it more interesting by putting our names into it.)

kate, debbie (woo) and nicole died and went to heaven together. at the gates of heaven, the guy with the book of life says,"you can do anything you want here, as long as you don't step on the blue rabbit!" so kate, debbie and nicole said,"uh, okay." so the gates were opened and when they went in they saw hundreds of different coloured rabbits - and blue ones! so they agreed not to step on the blue rabbits.

they were walking along when suddenly, nicole disappeared! kate and debbie were running all over heaven looking for her when they heard the church bells ringing. "aiyak! we never went to check the church!" so they ran all the way to the church and saw nicole there - getting married to the ugliest man on the face of heaven! so we cried,"nicole! what happened?!" *here nicole started squealing* and as it turns out, she stepped on a blue rabbit.

two years later, debbie and kate were bored so debbie suggested they go yum cha (i didn't know we could do that in heaven. o.o) and they called nicole. so we were walking along, going to go yumcha, when suddenly, kate disappeared! nicole and debbie ran all over heaven looking for kate again when they heard church bells ringing! so they ran to the church and saw kate getting married to the fattest guy on earth!!! *here, I started screaming* so they cried out,"kate! what happened to you?!?" kate turns around and said,"i stepped on a blue rabbit...." yay me.

ANYWAY. so couple of years later, debbie got bored and decided to call nicole and kate to go out and yum cha. so walking along to go yum cha when debbie disappeared! nicole and kate, wisened up, and ran straight to the church. sure enough, there was debbie - getting married to the most handsomest, hottest guy on earth!! nicole and kate were like,"debbie! what happened?? this is not fair!!" the guy turns around and says,"i stepped on a blue rabbit..."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

blonde joke by anysa.

two blondes go to the pet store to buy two cats. they went home and noticed something was wrong. one said to the other,"how are we going to tell them apart? they look the same!" so the other said,"i know!! i'll cut off my cat's ears so they'll look different!" so they cut off the cat's ears. that night, the cat with ears looked at the other and whined,"its not fair! i don't want my ears either!" so they chew his ears off.

in the morning, the second blonde says,"crap! now what?" so the first blonde says,"i know! i'll cut off my cat's tails so they'll look different." so they do that. that night, the cat with a tail looks at the other and wails,"no fair! i don't want my tail eitherr!" so they chew off his tail.

the next day, the first blonde squeals,"now what are we gonna do?! they look the same again!" so the second blonde says,"tell you what. i'll cut off my cat's paws so thy'll look different!" so they cut off the cat's paws *gruesome* that night, the *stupid* cat with its paws still intact says to the other,"oh cruel world! this isn't fair! i don't want mine either!" so they chew off his paws.

the next morning, the second blonde says,"oh no! what do we do now?" so the first blonde says,"i know! you can take the black one and i'll take the white!!"

poor cats are probably dead by then.

woot.

no reason to rejoice. no reason to celebrate. no reason to feel happy. no reason to scream.

who says eh?

I GOT NUMBER ONE IN CLASS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAAC.

I HAVE DINNER WITH ISAAC, PHILLY, BEN AND INESSA SATURDAY NIGHT.

I GET A TUB OF NEW ZEALAND NATURAL ICE CREAM TOMORROW.

I SAW THE HOTTEST GUY EVER AT SCHOOL TODAY.

MY FUTURE LOOKS PRETTY BRIGHT.

I NEED TO PEE.

oops. forget the last one.

yay! :D

@.@

apparently i called benjamin (from church) a retarded reindeer.

I DON'T REMEMBER.

oh well. he said that if he ever needs a mascot, he's got one. XD

anyway. anysa, i hate you. jamie is tres gorgeoussissimo. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.. introduce me! *hee hee* BUT apparently, mr jamie has THE hot boday, THE hot looks but has not THE sexy voice. WAKAKAK I TOLD YOU GOD HAD A SENSE OF HUMOUR!

anysa says he has the voice of a pre pubescent boy.

OMG! *laughs*

glitter

whee.. *sparkle sparkle*

i saw an infinite amount of glittery confetti today on the brit awards. it didn't seem to end. nobody could see the performer (corinne bailey rae) behind all that glittery confetti! it was amazing, where did they get THAT much of glittery golden confetti? it amazes me. @.@ and corinne must have had LOADS of hair spray, i mean, there was a TONNE of that glittery stuff in her afro do. i'm serious! it was crazy. oh, the things that make me gawp.

the brit awards are SO COOL. like, the first act was the scissor sisters. scott says their the gayest band in the world. i think they're cooooooooool. :P all those costumes. and the (GASP) GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes. glitter. whoohoo. then, there were performances from the killers. snow patrol. amy winehouse. corinne bailey rae. oasis. i don't remember the rest. and the mc was the most awesomely gayest guy you could think of. the brits truly have no shame.

I LOVE THEM! don't you?

ooh. and mr steven tylor was there too. awesome. *grins*