OK, i'll admit..

that i think these celebrities are super hot.

Adam Levine. he's pretty damn hot. yeah, he's skinny and all but i have a weird fixation with skinny boys. my brother will testify to that. XD
the All American Reject's frontman and guitarist. i don't know their names. I TOLD YOU I HAD STRANGE FIXATIONS! skinny boys, yah know?

Shia Labeouf. he looks hot in disturbia. the trailer, anyway. XD see? cute.
Joel Madden! Billy's cute i guess but he's too emo. way way too emo. sorry anysa! PHWOAR! celebs cam whore too. haha! i found this on Yahoo search and thought it was kinda funny.

Adam Brody (Seth Cohen, the OC). who doesn't love him?! excluding boys, obviously. unless, of course, boys, you DO like him. i forgive you. dorky kid, but CUTE.
Johnny Depp. AWESOMENESS PERSONIFIED! he's so damn cool. from Edward Scissorhand to Captain Jack Sparrow, this guy CANNOT go wrong.
okay, i can't find a good image of Ryan Gosling. but he's freaking hot. XD

others include:

Jesse Mccartney

Orlando Bloom

Pete Wentz

Patrick Stump

Rob Thomas *sexy*

Channing Tatum

Jared Leto

Ashton Kutcher (when he was a leetle bit younger)

Justin Timberlake

Jason Smith

That dude from Avril Lavigne's video "Girlfriend"

That other dude from Evanescence's video "Call Me when You're Sober"

sigh.

it appears that no one cared if i lived or died.

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms
And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what do you think you'd understand
I'm a boy
No, I'm a man
You can't take me and throw me away
And how can you learn what's never shown
Yeah you stand here on your own
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted I could be
Now you know me and I'm not afraid
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
How can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They can't see me
But I'm still here

They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah the world is still sleepin
While I keep on dreamin for me
And their words are just whispers and lies
That I'll never believe

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can they say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
'Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here

imprints on your brain

today i went over to sammie's house in hopes of going swimming when ivan, nikki, mel and khai came over. but no go. they were all TOO LAZY. lazy mugs. XP anyway. we ended up watching the notebook and you know what?

RYAN GOSLING IS SO HOT. SO SO HOT. OMIGOSH OMIGOSH.

incredible.

anyway. its such a sweet movie. a must watch with a boyfriend. lol. we spent the first half hour of the movie gawping and squealing and making stupid comments. nicole fell asleep so we got out the mayonaise (she HATES mayonaise) and mel squirted a leetle bit on her face and she woke up screaming,"WHAT IS THAT!!" than she tried to smear it on everybody else. it was so funny. and just for the record, I SUGGESTED WHIPPED CREAM, NOT MAYONAISE. THAT WAS MEL!

okay. we spent the rest of the time watching one tree hill, the episode where there was the shooting, like the Columbine shooting. it was such a sad episode, but there was so much truth in it. i mean, yeah we're all guilty of ignoring someone or putting someone down *intentional or not* one time or another, right? but why should some people get this kind of "bullying" more than others? its not fair. they are humans too. they shouldn't have to deal with the crap some of us dish out just because they might not be as smart, they may not be as pretty or handsome, they might not be as skinny or as tall. you know, they didn't exactly ask to be born. neither did we. but here we are anyway. shouldn't we make the most of what God has given us? shouldn't we try to make this world that we live in a better place? i'm not talking about the earth. i'm talking about our world. we all live in our own worlds, shouldn't we make it better for not only ourselves, but for everyone around us? by doing that, maybe we could actually change lives.

another thing that has got me thinking real hard. jimmy (the shooter) said that once, when he od'd on antidepressants he had to go to the hospital and all that for a while, a week or something like that. but when he came back to school it was like nothing changed. like he was never there anyway. nobody missed him. it shouldn't be that way.

if i got sick, if i suddenly disappeared, even if i (God forbid) died, would i be missed? would my absence be noticed, would things be different? more importantly, did i make enough of an impression on anybody's life for them to miss me when i'm gone? did i make anyone's life better? did i make it worse? would people be sad if i was gone or would they be happier? or would they not notice that i'm gone at all?

if i know my friends and my family well enough, i know that i have made an impression on their lives. but what if i didn't?

so you tell me. did i make an impression on your life? would you remember me when i'm gone?

"i am a question to the world. not an answer to the earth." -john rzeznik, i'm still here

ode to new zealand ice cream

oh new zealand natural
you are so beautiful
the way you slide onto my tongue, cold, sweet, smooth
a burst of flavours in my mouth!
and every thirtieth day of the month
you allow me to indulge myself just a wee bit more(not very often, just so you know)
i love you i love you!
you make me happy anytime.

blah..

nothing to write except.. i have a tummy ache.

indecisiveness

looks like miss alyana has changed her mind about her tattoo. not surprised! haha.. so now its a very pretty tattoo, its a whispery fairy girl. you can't see her face because she's kneeling with her back to you. alyana's planning purple hair and green tinged wings. the hair is a couple of wavy lines but i must say that its very interesting, sort of dark-fairytale kinda thing. nice. vair vair nice. :P


anyway. today the new restaurant is open! hurrah! its really really nice.mom and i went there after ballet class. so she met her old school friend there and his wife. she's pretty. lol. well, so they were rather loudly exchanging stories, but the whole place was noisy so it didn't make much of a difference. i was talking to megan. poor thing, she's got pn. gan as her english teacher. HAHAHAH.. anyway. uhm. right, so then my mom called me over to meet her friend. everything going nice and dandy, happy happy UNTIL. mom starts telling us a story about when this guy was her boss and she had just given birth to me and she couldn't breastfeed me properly because she was too tied up with work.


EMBARRASINGKIDOSKUDOSNESSOSITY. weird and embarrasing.


oh well. thats what mom's are forrrrrrrrrr.. so here i am.. immortalizing my mother's famous words so i will remember not to talk about breastfeeding in front of my kid next time. if it does happen to slip out, i know i will most probably be painfully reminded when i see my mother in the future. gray and wrinkly, still feisty, going,"HAH! I thought you said you weren't going to say anything? hahahahah! *koff koff* eat your words! *wheeeeze*"


she is laughing at me behind now. i have only one thing to say!


XP *thhhhhhpppppptthhhhhh*

shades of green

i saw the cutest pair of wedges today. it looked gorgeous. pastel green. with a small bow, not those huge ones that look incredibly tacky.


why didn't i buy them?


1. they were SO HIGH. if i wore them to church i'd be towering over everybody, especially phil. XD sorry phil.. its the grim truth. i love you anyway! good if i go overseas, but thats not very likely to happen soon now is it?
2. they didn't quite fit right when i actually put them both on. the side sort of stuck out all funny.
3. i don't think i'd get to wear them all that much.
4. if i tripped, i'd die.



yeah. so thats why i didn't buy them. but i want wedges. unfortunately, i think they're kind of out of style nowadays. i don't know but there wasn't much choice in vincci. hmm. i shall have to go... SHOE SHOPPING!!!!!!! anyone interested? :P


i wanna go and play pool for cell outing! its so cool okayyyy... hahaha.. maybe its just me wanting to brush up on my pool playing skills seeing how i've only gone to play, like, once. with ming yue and khai weng and sammie and nicle and mel. and khai's friend michael. and it turns out, I ROCK! exceot for the time i got this really easy shot and totally flopped it. i poked the white ball too hard i think. whatever it is i did, the white ball jumped OVER the 8 ball. the guys were all slapping their heads with their palms and groaning. *cringe!*hahaha.. it was pretty funny though. i mean. i'm pretty sure thats never happened to any of you guys before. who here can claim that they shot the white ball clear OVER the eight ball huh? XD


alyana and i discussed what kind of tattoo she's gonna get this weekend. we came up with all sorts of really cool stuff, like the rolling stones' classic tongue-sticking-out-of-a-pair-of-red-lips and a pink bomb which she got from a fallout boy *gr!* t shirt that she got. and now she's narrowed it down to three. a cross with a four leaf clover in the middle, very gothic-ish, the clover's leaves unfurling delicately from the middle. a blue shooting star, very sweet. and a.. i can't remember the last one actually. hmm. never mind that last one. i think she wants the cross with the clover. i like it loads too. she was colouring it today, showing me what shades of green she wanted and the cross was to be in shades of black and grey. tres nice. :)


when i'm working i'm gonna get me a cupcake tattoo! how cute would that be. nigella lawson, eat your heart out. then when i'm good and married, a symbolic tattoo. hearts intertwined, maybe? i have lots of time to think. haha! so cool. alyana, you're so going to be screaming when you feel that needle piercing you under your skin. so when i hear a high pitched scream piercing into the air, i'll look up and say,"oh! there's alyana." XD


i love graffiti. its so PSYCHEDELIC BABY!


verse of the day : ecclesiastes 7:8-9
"the end of a matter is better than the beginning and patience is better than pride. do not be quickly provoked in your spirit for anger resides in the lap of fools."


excellente!

room revamp

hey ppl! my mom says that since we have to repaint the whole house pretty soon, i can release my creativity and paint on my walls! so if you guys wanna unleash some serious colour splashing, call me and we can arrange a date okay? ^^ i'm so excited!



word of the week : psycho

why mika is gay and the gc concert.

this is written with permission from my mother.



me : oh look! (points at article about mika) mika is lebanese. i didn't know that.
mom : no wonder he's gay.
me : O.O


I DON'T CARE! I LOVE MIKA ANYWAY!

anyway. moving on. tomorrow is sports day in my school. pfft, as if i'm going. and i ALMOST got to go and see good charlotte but i can't. the story :


my brother got free tickets from digi to go and see good charlotte. FREE VIP TICKETS. so he said he would take me but then he remembered he has a dinner that night to go to, so he can't. so there i was, trying to find a guy to go with me (come to think of it, i should have asked felix. hm.) but no go. then, at 10something at night, ivan said he'd go with me. *jumps for joy* but 12am in the morning he smses and says his mom wouldn't let him go because he's not supposed to go out with a girl alone. ivan's mom, auntie, with all due respect, i'm not trying to date your son or anything!!!!!!!!! anyway. yes. so in the morning i told scott, never mind, if you can find someone else to sell the tix to, sell lah. IN THE AFTERNOON I GOT BEN TO GO WITH ME. but guess what? too late. scott sold them already.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!



sigh. moral of the story : mm.. can't think of one, feeling kinda DUMB. haha.. well, i guess its okay.. the concert starts at like, 7.30pm. so if i wanted to go, i'd have to leave the baptism at, what, 4.30pm? and the baptism only starts at 3.30pm. i think i'd rather be with my friends and have a good time at the baptism than be at the concert with people i don't know (because ben is getting baptised) and have a lousy time. so yes. thats my drama this week. :)


hmm. tim has taken to thinking he's gabriel sylar. hilarious, no? don't blow my brains out tim, noo! :P


bye ya'll! and to those who are getting baptised tomorrow, congratulations!! God is truly pleased with His sons and daughters. :)

i want..

alot of things.

"its fruity and delicious. its fruit-alicious!" :)
"good things come for boys who wait!"
"you're so fine i want you mine you're so delicious!"
"who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"
"he's BLOOOO-tiful!"

these are the few things i've been saying these past few days thanks to anysa and sammie. o.o yes i know. weird.

OH WELL. :)

:)

smiling is good. smile more. even when you don't really feel like it.

picture time!

inessa showing me the wonders of the macro function in the camera.

inessa made a new friend! you go girl.

death by balloons.

isaac's wish list : number twenty three

doesn't it look like him!

who knew isaac was such a poser? heavens above, i sure didn't.


ICE CREAM SOUP CAKE! ICE CREAM SOUP CAKE!

random shot but i thought it looked real good. :) look! khye shin in the background!

thats all for now folks! ^^

ice cream soup

heat heat heat has turned my ice cream into soup.


no. i'm serious. its soup.


its not even semi solid. its just soup.


our refridgerator won't close properly, which means the cold air seeps out. turning my ice cream into mush. mush. absolute mush.


ANYWAY. tomorrow's the hitz.fm thingy. i'd love to go but i can't. :( oh well. happens, right? have fun there, sammy, lynny, marcia and mel mel!!

ish! i haven't uploaded the pics from isaac's b'day yet. it was so awesome! seriously. and mitchell sucked up helium which made his voice go all funny and i got the whole video! next time then.



back to my ice cream soup then. :)

of rabbit and blonde jokes.

tze quan's rabbit joke. (she made it more interesting by putting our names into it.)

kate, debbie (woo) and nicole died and went to heaven together. at the gates of heaven, the guy with the book of life says,"you can do anything you want here, as long as you don't step on the blue rabbit!" so kate, debbie and nicole said,"uh, okay." so the gates were opened and when they went in they saw hundreds of different coloured rabbits - and blue ones! so they agreed not to step on the blue rabbits.

they were walking along when suddenly, nicole disappeared! kate and debbie were running all over heaven looking for her when they heard the church bells ringing. "aiyak! we never went to check the church!" so they ran all the way to the church and saw nicole there - getting married to the ugliest man on the face of heaven! so we cried,"nicole! what happened?!" *here nicole started squealing* and as it turns out, she stepped on a blue rabbit.

two years later, debbie and kate were bored so debbie suggested they go yum cha (i didn't know we could do that in heaven. o.o) and they called nicole. so we were walking along, going to go yumcha, when suddenly, kate disappeared! nicole and debbie ran all over heaven looking for kate again when they heard church bells ringing! so they ran to the church and saw kate getting married to the fattest guy on earth!!! *here, I started screaming* so they cried out,"kate! what happened to you?!?" kate turns around and said,"i stepped on a blue rabbit...." yay me.

ANYWAY. so couple of years later, debbie got bored and decided to call nicole and kate to go out and yum cha. so walking along to go yum cha when debbie disappeared! nicole and kate, wisened up, and ran straight to the church. sure enough, there was debbie - getting married to the most handsomest, hottest guy on earth!! nicole and kate were like,"debbie! what happened?? this is not fair!!" the guy turns around and says,"i stepped on a blue rabbit..."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

blonde joke by anysa.

two blondes go to the pet store to buy two cats. they went home and noticed something was wrong. one said to the other,"how are we going to tell them apart? they look the same!" so the other said,"i know!! i'll cut off my cat's ears so they'll look different!" so they cut off the cat's ears. that night, the cat with ears looked at the other and whined,"its not fair! i don't want my ears either!" so they chew his ears off.

in the morning, the second blonde says,"crap! now what?" so the first blonde says,"i know! i'll cut off my cat's tails so they'll look different." so they do that. that night, the cat with a tail looks at the other and wails,"no fair! i don't want my tail eitherr!" so they chew off his tail.

the next day, the first blonde squeals,"now what are we gonna do?! they look the same again!" so the second blonde says,"tell you what. i'll cut off my cat's paws so thy'll look different!" so they cut off the cat's paws *gruesome* that night, the *stupid* cat with its paws still intact says to the other,"oh cruel world! this isn't fair! i don't want mine either!" so they chew off his paws.

the next morning, the second blonde says,"oh no! what do we do now?" so the first blonde says,"i know! you can take the black one and i'll take the white!!"

poor cats are probably dead by then.

woot.

no reason to rejoice. no reason to celebrate. no reason to feel happy. no reason to scream.

who says eh?

I GOT NUMBER ONE IN CLASS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAAC.

I HAVE DINNER WITH ISAAC, PHILLY, BEN AND INESSA SATURDAY NIGHT.

I GET A TUB OF NEW ZEALAND NATURAL ICE CREAM TOMORROW.

I SAW THE HOTTEST GUY EVER AT SCHOOL TODAY.

MY FUTURE LOOKS PRETTY BRIGHT.

I NEED TO PEE.

oops. forget the last one.

yay! :D

@.@

apparently i called benjamin (from church) a retarded reindeer.

I DON'T REMEMBER.

oh well. he said that if he ever needs a mascot, he's got one. XD

anyway. anysa, i hate you. jamie is tres gorgeoussissimo. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.. introduce me! *hee hee* BUT apparently, mr jamie has THE hot boday, THE hot looks but has not THE sexy voice. WAKAKAK I TOLD YOU GOD HAD A SENSE OF HUMOUR!

anysa says he has the voice of a pre pubescent boy.

OMG! *laughs*

glitter

whee.. *sparkle sparkle*

i saw an infinite amount of glittery confetti today on the brit awards. it didn't seem to end. nobody could see the performer (corinne bailey rae) behind all that glittery confetti! it was amazing, where did they get THAT much of glittery golden confetti? it amazes me. @.@ and corinne must have had LOADS of hair spray, i mean, there was a TONNE of that glittery stuff in her afro do. i'm serious! it was crazy. oh, the things that make me gawp.

the brit awards are SO COOL. like, the first act was the scissor sisters. scott says their the gayest band in the world. i think they're cooooooooool. :P all those costumes. and the (GASP) GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes. glitter. whoohoo. then, there were performances from the killers. snow patrol. amy winehouse. corinne bailey rae. oasis. i don't remember the rest. and the mc was the most awesomely gayest guy you could think of. the brits truly have no shame.

I LOVE THEM! don't you?

ooh. and mr steven tylor was there too. awesome. *grins*

what kills me

-the sound of something rubbing against a balloon.

-the fact that you're an absolute idiot. (you don't know who you are)

-larr larr-ness!! berjaya times square almost made me jump off the top of the kl tower.

-throwing up.

-watching people throw up.

-people who think they can sing but they really can't but they insist of singing out loud anyway.

-the sound of styrofoam rubbing against another piece of styrofoam.

-my science teacher. GRRR!

-people who have everything complaining.

-britney spears.

-clothes that make me look fat. ><>

-those girls in my school who stare and ogle at guys like cavepeople. jakun betul!

-coffee. blech.

-soppy soap operas like general hospital, FASHION HOUSE*muahaha ivan*, etc. and laguna beach SUCKS.

-stupid teenagers in "my super sweet sixteen" *says in high squeaky voice,"i don't wave to people, people wave to meeee.." *vomit vomit*

-the fact that the things i want are way WAY too expensive. mom says i have expensive taste. yay me?

-the fact that I CAN'T PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS! YAARRGH! i have no patience with instruments. *snuffle*

thats all for now i guess. there are alot more, people, things, places but i don't think i should. :)

:p

*bluekk* i have been bored. people have probably been skipping the name of my blog in the box up there that says "window" that shows you all the websites you visit frequently.

my apologies! ><

nothing's been really going on. so i haven't really got something to blog about. oh. nicole was jumping inf ront of people saying in a super squeaky voice "HI! I'M HIGHLY FLAMMABLE!". so that they didn't freak out, i was "assigned" by pei ling to babysit her. nicole went HIIIGGHHH. XD i went around apologizing to the people she was busy terrorising. hahaha.. no hard feelings nikki, yah know i'm kidding.

hm. last week's resonate was pretty awesome. pastor daniel spoke and it was awesome! haha...

oh. i gotta run. more tomorrow.. or maybe the day after.. or the day after.. whatever! bye ya'll.

laugh

i have blogger's block. yes. laugh, why don't you?!?!><

i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off (me+you)

Last year's wishes
Are this year's apologies
Every last time I come home
I take my last chance
To burn a bridge or two
I only keep myself this sick in the head
Cause I know how the words get you

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bulletproof loneliness
At best, at best

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

Collect the bad habits
That you couldn't bare to keep
Out of the woods but I love
A tree I used to lay beneath
Kiss teeth stained red
From a sour bottle baby girl
With eyes the size of baby worlds

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bulletproof loneliness
At best, at best

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

The best way
To make it through
With hearts and wrists in tact
Is to realize
Two outta three ain't bad
Ain't bad

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
(Honeymoon)
Setting in a honeymoon
(In a honeymoon)
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you..

FOB!!

cry and weep

"oh. my. gosh. koko! you missed my call! it was from kenny!"

i said his name with an uncertain fear.

"huh? what?"
"i didn't bring my phone to ballet! didn't you hear it?"
"uhm. no."
"aiyaaa! mooomm!"
"what what?"
"kenny called! probably about the auditions!"

heart thumping. holding out hope. desperation creeps in.
if nicole got a part maybe i could've gotten one too.

"call him then. nah, use my phone."
"oh my gosh oh my gosh."

phone rings.
deet deet. deet deet.

"hello?"
"kenny? hi its kate. you called? sorry i didn't pick it up, i was in ballet and i left my phone at home."
"oh! hi kate. no wonder its so late. ah, okay. its about the auditions. the results are out."
"uhhuh? and?"

holding out hope.

"and uh, sorry to say, but you didn't get a part."

too much hope.

"oh."

"yeah, i'm really sorry but thank you for making time to come for the auditions anyway..."

everything just started to fade. kenny turned into a buzzing in my ear. i said "yes" and "uhhuh" when it sounded appropriate. i wasn't listening anymore.

"thanks kenny. bye."

"bye."

"well?"

"i didn't get a part, mom."

"oh."

"yeah. good night"

a lump starts to rise in my throat. quick kate, get out the door. rising higher. just get to your room now. sara is sleeping. i touch my doorknob - and the whole world starts to swim. i didn't get the part. i didn't get any part at all.

i sit in bed and sob. what was i thinking? that i would get the part? that i would get a part? how did that get into my head? why did i think that if maybe nicole could get a part, i could have gotten one too? did i screw up that badly? i try to sleep, try to erase these but they come flooding forth along with pints of tears.

aren't i good enough for them?

aren't i good enough?

all i needed was one chance.

i got that. i screwed it up.

i just had to prove to myself i was good enough. to do this.

but i guess i wasn't.

now what? how am i going to face nicole tomorrow? samantha? marcia? they all thought i would be cool about not getting a part.

but i'm not.

and if they asked if i was okay?

well, i'm not.

what was it i did wrong?

did meegee think i was too stiff?

did may gan think i was terrible?

did kenny think i was too fat?

WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN HOW WHY.

negative crap went through my head, hitting, biting, kicking, slapping me straight in the face. i felt like i was in a barrel being thrown about at sea. kate you're not good enough. not lively enough, not happy enough, not compassionate enough, not pretty enough, not anything enough. boy, the devil sure was having a field day, huh? so i did something i hadn't done in a really really long time.

i prayed.

and i managed to sleep. of course i woke up with puffy eyes. but oh well.

congratulations, everybody who got a part. to everybody who didn't, i'm sorry too. maybe we can be unsung heroes once again. *smiles sadly*

just say the word.

auditions

i was walking into school today and i started to think about my auditions. i thought, did i do well? would i get the part? would i get any part at all? if i didn't what would i do? was i going to freak out or cry or something? and if i did get the part, how was i going to redo my schedule? will the practices interfere with my tuitions and ballet and stuff like that? will there be alot of them, will i be able to make it to them all the time, could i be as commited as i'm expected to be? all these and more were running through my head. and i was thinking back, saying to myself, they should smile more when you go into the audition room. they shouldn't have chosen the piano room, it was too white and felt too much like going into a death room or something. there were to many mirrors, i felt so fat looking at myself in those mirrors. i didn't think i made a good impression. maybe meegee shouldn't have been there. maybe she should have. my pitching went off. was i good enough? was i bad beyond comprehension?

anyway. i was walking along, thinking about all this negative crap, trying to look at the positive and not really being able to find any. i looked around. people were still walking about talking about boys and clothes, doing their schoolwork, last minute homework and i thought, how can the world still go on? i guess it can. the world doesn't stop when you're sad or upset. it keeps going and going and it doesn't stop for you. and tht means, you'll just have to go along with the world, right? sometimes you an take a breather but you always have to go back. go back to the old routines, trying out new ones, maybe succeeding, almost not. but one thig's for sure : i had to tell myself, God's got a plan. and if its part of His plan tht you be in this musical, then you will be in it. if its not, maybe He's got something better in mind for you.

so thats my recap of the auditions. i hope i make it though. i do i do! ><

MY CBOX APPEARS TO NOT BE WORKING! PHILIP! HELP!

anyway. i don't really have much to say here. i have exams starting tomorrow! wah.. T.T who wants to do exams on a SATURDAY? well you gotta say, these people have some brains at least right? they know how to get people to come to school.. aah the evils of school. and mine is the only school having class tomorrow!!even my bm teacher said they're crazy.

i have auditions tomorrow too. auditions!!!! scary. ><>

i'm having blogger's block again. anysa suggested i start a blog writing random topic essays in it. i think i will!

the road outside my door is paved with good intentions

ivan. FOB ROCKS. XD

school is starting tomorrow. dammit! *sigh* i don't wanna go back. whats more we've got exams coming up. i think mine's like next week or something. anyway. our hip hop teacher is pregnant!! omg, right. but she's only been married about a year or so, so congrats to her. but tht means tht hip hop is gonna be stopped for, oh, i don't know. she's getting a replacement for the rest of this month and march but after that, who knows. maybe we shall get kenny to do it.. x) yo ho ho.. whooaaa...

i have blogger's block. its a disease, says lynette. i agree. lets see. what shall i rant about?

try nothing. you got me there. how about crank? lol. its a book i got a while ago. its quite interesting, i guess you can say that. about a girl who gets hooked on drugs. gets beaten up, raped and hooked onto more drugs. then she finds out she's preganant. she keeps the baby. this is actually a true story based loosely on the author's family. the girl is her daughter. its kinda sad once you think about it. getting hooked is like a disease. a real one. it eats you up and it takes over you and soon it becomes what you live, eat, breathe, it becomes everything. you don't even have to be under any kind of pressure to be hooked. all it takes is a smidgen of temptation and boom - there you go. i mean, in this story, she goes to visit her drugged up dad and there she gets hooked. she was actually a really good girl but then she went there and met a guy and he introduces her to the wonderful world of drugs and the saddest thing is that her dad actually eggs her on, encouraging her, actually telling her what different drugs do forher. not to her. for her. makes her high, makes her happy, makes her light, makes her feel on top of the world. but when she comes down, she comes down real hard. she goes home and finds more people on drugs, and there she starts getting worse, seeing dealers, buying and dealing to others, meets another girl to get high with and falls into what she calls the monster's game, and only he knows the rules. there are many ways to get down with the monster. you can snort it, smoke it, crush it and drink it. but when you come down

you

come

down

real

HARD.

joy oh joy

ghost rider. they should not have used nicholas cage. i repeat, they should NOT have used nicholas cage. they should have used johnny depp because johnny depp is WAY hotter. and a better actor. nicholas cage is so uglieeeeeeee. i bet eva mendes is now washing her mouth out with toilet cleaner. oh, and the sales of wonderbras are SURE to go out the roof. zoooom! hahaha.. oh, but.. the young johnny blaze was SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aieeeeeeeeeeee! sammie, right, right?? XD

fallout boy's infinity on high rocks. but, oh so clever me, i left it in nikki's place. *bashes head on wall* stupid stupid stupid. no wait, their touring manager is the stupid one. WHY CAN'T THEY COME HERE?? i do not see whats so wrong about them coming here. to malaysia. to kl. NOT TO SINGAPORE. i mean, HELLO?! you expect ME to go THERE? i say, pay me. T.T i want fallout boy to come heeerrreee...... why can't they come heeeerreee....

oh yeah. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SAMMIE! and SU YEN! lol. hope you liked your patrick sammie. squishy patrick. *squish squish* anyway. hope you guys had great birthdays. and happy birthday to my cousin john. stop smoking, or i shall die faster than you. XD then you will carry tht to your grave, mua ha ha ha ha. not tht you read this anyway.

happy chinese new year! ^^

food food and more food. @.@ my goal for not gaining any weight this chinese new year may never be accomplished. oh well! i get paid at least. XD

i can finally get online!!!!!! and and and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TZE QUAAAANNN!! not tht u come online and read blogs ANYWAY. :P i'm just happy i can come online.

today went to nikki's place. watched half of fast and furious tokyo drift and watched ming yue grovel to nicole to go back to her place to watch the rest *hem hem, ming yoooo*. yeah, then khai, nikki, sammie and me went for dinner coz sammie was celebrating her birthday. its tomorrow by the way. yeah, it was fun, eating *alot* and then walking around and talking about crap. XD right guys right?! haha.. yeah then went back to sammie's place and had cake while they played cho tai ti. is that how you spell it? i have no idea. hmm and khai got sammie these really REALLY pretty earrings *hem hem khaii*. yeah, i liked them. and loads of sweets!!! i got her a *toooot tooot*. not to be revealed until tomorrow lest she reads this post anytime between tonight and tomorrow morning. going to watch ghostrider with isaac, ben and sammie tomorrow. awesomenessosity eh eh.

okay. i'm gonna go to sleep now. dead tired from partying and drinking all night long. omg, i'm such a bad liar! *says it like bimbo blonde*

I GOT THE FALLOUT BOY CD! THANK YOU KOR!!!!!!!!!!!

why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton?
because it said "concentrate".
*courtesy of anysa*

Jesse Mccartney - Just So You Know

I shouldn't love you
but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

it's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

just so you know, this is the faults of nicole, geogyiana and moghana. @.@

valentines... *mmwwaah*

all the adverts for valentines day... deals, special offers, prices going up on gifts, jewelry, chocolates and roses.. love is in the air.. hearts are flying around.. smiles are lighting up.. it makes you think..

does this mean valentines day is overrated??

i don't know. maybe all the publicity that runs around it is. my mom just leaned over and said :

YES VALENTINES DAY IS OVERRATED AND EXPENSIVE.

maybe a little.
well, okay, abit more than that.
okay, okay, okay, so its quite overrated.
alright, alright. yes. it is OVERRATED.
but people like it.
i wonder why.
do you know?

think you could tell me? :p

*ooze ooze*

spongebob squarepants is the stupidest cartoon i have ever seen in my entire life.

why?
a) its brainless.
b) he's gay and has an annoying voice.
c) ITS JUST STUPID.

so why are all you people addicted to it?!?! i tried watching it the other day and i could feel my BRAINS oozing out of my ears (as i've been telling everyone).

*ooze ooze* slowly.. dripping... my head feels light..

but i do like mr crab. the money minded idiot. XD

so sue me!

woot woot

marcia n me in front of auntie poh yoke's garden.

marcia and martin. aww!

guess which hands are mine.

maximum cam whores, yeah!

fflloowweerrss...


banana cake!

two hot mamas. XD

yes.. there you have, a day of pictures. XD

enjoy!