why mika is gay and the gc concert.

this is written with permission from my mother.



me : oh look! (points at article about mika) mika is lebanese. i didn't know that.
mom : no wonder he's gay.
me : O.O


I DON'T CARE! I LOVE MIKA ANYWAY!

anyway. moving on. tomorrow is sports day in my school. pfft, as if i'm going. and i ALMOST got to go and see good charlotte but i can't. the story :


my brother got free tickets from digi to go and see good charlotte. FREE VIP TICKETS. so he said he would take me but then he remembered he has a dinner that night to go to, so he can't. so there i was, trying to find a guy to go with me (come to think of it, i should have asked felix. hm.) but no go. then, at 10something at night, ivan said he'd go with me. *jumps for joy* but 12am in the morning he smses and says his mom wouldn't let him go because he's not supposed to go out with a girl alone. ivan's mom, auntie, with all due respect, i'm not trying to date your son or anything!!!!!!!!! anyway. yes. so in the morning i told scott, never mind, if you can find someone else to sell the tix to, sell lah. IN THE AFTERNOON I GOT BEN TO GO WITH ME. but guess what? too late. scott sold them already.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!



sigh. moral of the story : mm.. can't think of one, feeling kinda DUMB. haha.. well, i guess its okay.. the concert starts at like, 7.30pm. so if i wanted to go, i'd have to leave the baptism at, what, 4.30pm? and the baptism only starts at 3.30pm. i think i'd rather be with my friends and have a good time at the baptism than be at the concert with people i don't know (because ben is getting baptised) and have a lousy time. so yes. thats my drama this week. :)


hmm. tim has taken to thinking he's gabriel sylar. hilarious, no? don't blow my brains out tim, noo! :P


bye ya'll! and to those who are getting baptised tomorrow, congratulations!! God is truly pleased with His sons and daughters. :)

i want..

alot of things.

"its fruity and delicious. its fruit-alicious!" :)
"good things come for boys who wait!"
"you're so fine i want you mine you're so delicious!"
"who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"
"he's BLOOOO-tiful!"

these are the few things i've been saying these past few days thanks to anysa and sammie. o.o yes i know. weird.

OH WELL. :)

:)

smiling is good. smile more. even when you don't really feel like it.

picture time!

inessa showing me the wonders of the macro function in the camera.

inessa made a new friend! you go girl.

death by balloons.

isaac's wish list : number twenty three

doesn't it look like him!

who knew isaac was such a poser? heavens above, i sure didn't.


ICE CREAM SOUP CAKE! ICE CREAM SOUP CAKE!

random shot but i thought it looked real good. :) look! khye shin in the background!

thats all for now folks! ^^

ice cream soup

heat heat heat has turned my ice cream into soup.


no. i'm serious. its soup.


its not even semi solid. its just soup.


our refridgerator won't close properly, which means the cold air seeps out. turning my ice cream into mush. mush. absolute mush.


ANYWAY. tomorrow's the hitz.fm thingy. i'd love to go but i can't. :( oh well. happens, right? have fun there, sammy, lynny, marcia and mel mel!!

ish! i haven't uploaded the pics from isaac's b'day yet. it was so awesome! seriously. and mitchell sucked up helium which made his voice go all funny and i got the whole video! next time then.



back to my ice cream soup then. :)

of rabbit and blonde jokes.

tze quan's rabbit joke. (she made it more interesting by putting our names into it.)

kate, debbie (woo) and nicole died and went to heaven together. at the gates of heaven, the guy with the book of life says,"you can do anything you want here, as long as you don't step on the blue rabbit!" so kate, debbie and nicole said,"uh, okay." so the gates were opened and when they went in they saw hundreds of different coloured rabbits - and blue ones! so they agreed not to step on the blue rabbits.

they were walking along when suddenly, nicole disappeared! kate and debbie were running all over heaven looking for her when they heard the church bells ringing. "aiyak! we never went to check the church!" so they ran all the way to the church and saw nicole there - getting married to the ugliest man on the face of heaven! so we cried,"nicole! what happened?!" *here nicole started squealing* and as it turns out, she stepped on a blue rabbit.

two years later, debbie and kate were bored so debbie suggested they go yum cha (i didn't know we could do that in heaven. o.o) and they called nicole. so we were walking along, going to go yumcha, when suddenly, kate disappeared! nicole and debbie ran all over heaven looking for kate again when they heard church bells ringing! so they ran to the church and saw kate getting married to the fattest guy on earth!!! *here, I started screaming* so they cried out,"kate! what happened to you?!?" kate turns around and said,"i stepped on a blue rabbit...." yay me.

ANYWAY. so couple of years later, debbie got bored and decided to call nicole and kate to go out and yum cha. so walking along to go yum cha when debbie disappeared! nicole and kate, wisened up, and ran straight to the church. sure enough, there was debbie - getting married to the most handsomest, hottest guy on earth!! nicole and kate were like,"debbie! what happened?? this is not fair!!" the guy turns around and says,"i stepped on a blue rabbit..."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

blonde joke by anysa.

two blondes go to the pet store to buy two cats. they went home and noticed something was wrong. one said to the other,"how are we going to tell them apart? they look the same!" so the other said,"i know!! i'll cut off my cat's ears so they'll look different!" so they cut off the cat's ears. that night, the cat with ears looked at the other and whined,"its not fair! i don't want my ears either!" so they chew his ears off.

in the morning, the second blonde says,"crap! now what?" so the first blonde says,"i know! i'll cut off my cat's tails so they'll look different." so they do that. that night, the cat with a tail looks at the other and wails,"no fair! i don't want my tail eitherr!" so they chew off his tail.

the next day, the first blonde squeals,"now what are we gonna do?! they look the same again!" so the second blonde says,"tell you what. i'll cut off my cat's paws so thy'll look different!" so they cut off the cat's paws *gruesome* that night, the *stupid* cat with its paws still intact says to the other,"oh cruel world! this isn't fair! i don't want mine either!" so they chew off his paws.

the next morning, the second blonde says,"oh no! what do we do now?" so the first blonde says,"i know! you can take the black one and i'll take the white!!"

poor cats are probably dead by then.

woot.

no reason to rejoice. no reason to celebrate. no reason to feel happy. no reason to scream.

who says eh?

I GOT NUMBER ONE IN CLASS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISAAC.

I HAVE DINNER WITH ISAAC, PHILLY, BEN AND INESSA SATURDAY NIGHT.

I GET A TUB OF NEW ZEALAND NATURAL ICE CREAM TOMORROW.

I SAW THE HOTTEST GUY EVER AT SCHOOL TODAY.

MY FUTURE LOOKS PRETTY BRIGHT.

I NEED TO PEE.

oops. forget the last one.

yay! :D

@.@

apparently i called benjamin (from church) a retarded reindeer.

I DON'T REMEMBER.

oh well. he said that if he ever needs a mascot, he's got one. XD

anyway. anysa, i hate you. jamie is tres gorgeoussissimo. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.. introduce me! *hee hee* BUT apparently, mr jamie has THE hot boday, THE hot looks but has not THE sexy voice. WAKAKAK I TOLD YOU GOD HAD A SENSE OF HUMOUR!

anysa says he has the voice of a pre pubescent boy.

OMG! *laughs*

glitter

whee.. *sparkle sparkle*

i saw an infinite amount of glittery confetti today on the brit awards. it didn't seem to end. nobody could see the performer (corinne bailey rae) behind all that glittery confetti! it was amazing, where did they get THAT much of glittery golden confetti? it amazes me. @.@ and corinne must have had LOADS of hair spray, i mean, there was a TONNE of that glittery stuff in her afro do. i'm serious! it was crazy. oh, the things that make me gawp.

the brit awards are SO COOL. like, the first act was the scissor sisters. scott says their the gayest band in the world. i think they're cooooooooool. :P all those costumes. and the (GASP) GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes. glitter. whoohoo. then, there were performances from the killers. snow patrol. amy winehouse. corinne bailey rae. oasis. i don't remember the rest. and the mc was the most awesomely gayest guy you could think of. the brits truly have no shame.

I LOVE THEM! don't you?

ooh. and mr steven tylor was there too. awesome. *grins*

what kills me

-the sound of something rubbing against a balloon.

-the fact that you're an absolute idiot. (you don't know who you are)

-larr larr-ness!! berjaya times square almost made me jump off the top of the kl tower.

-throwing up.

-watching people throw up.

-people who think they can sing but they really can't but they insist of singing out loud anyway.

-the sound of styrofoam rubbing against another piece of styrofoam.

-my science teacher. GRRR!

-people who have everything complaining.

-britney spears.

-clothes that make me look fat. ><>

-those girls in my school who stare and ogle at guys like cavepeople. jakun betul!

-coffee. blech.

-soppy soap operas like general hospital, FASHION HOUSE*muahaha ivan*, etc. and laguna beach SUCKS.

-stupid teenagers in "my super sweet sixteen" *says in high squeaky voice,"i don't wave to people, people wave to meeee.." *vomit vomit*

-the fact that the things i want are way WAY too expensive. mom says i have expensive taste. yay me?

-the fact that I CAN'T PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS! YAARRGH! i have no patience with instruments. *snuffle*

thats all for now i guess. there are alot more, people, things, places but i don't think i should. :)

:p

*bluekk* i have been bored. people have probably been skipping the name of my blog in the box up there that says "window" that shows you all the websites you visit frequently.

my apologies! ><

nothing's been really going on. so i haven't really got something to blog about. oh. nicole was jumping inf ront of people saying in a super squeaky voice "HI! I'M HIGHLY FLAMMABLE!". so that they didn't freak out, i was "assigned" by pei ling to babysit her. nicole went HIIIGGHHH. XD i went around apologizing to the people she was busy terrorising. hahaha.. no hard feelings nikki, yah know i'm kidding.

hm. last week's resonate was pretty awesome. pastor daniel spoke and it was awesome! haha...

oh. i gotta run. more tomorrow.. or maybe the day after.. or the day after.. whatever! bye ya'll.

laugh

i have blogger's block. yes. laugh, why don't you?!?!><

i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off (me+you)

Last year's wishes
Are this year's apologies
Every last time I come home
I take my last chance
To burn a bridge or two
I only keep myself this sick in the head
Cause I know how the words get you

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bulletproof loneliness
At best, at best

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

Collect the bad habits
That you couldn't bare to keep
Out of the woods but I love
A tree I used to lay beneath
Kiss teeth stained red
From a sour bottle baby girl
With eyes the size of baby worlds

We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bulletproof loneliness
At best, at best

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you

The best way
To make it through
With hearts and wrists in tact
Is to realize
Two outta three ain't bad
Ain't bad

Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
(Honeymoon)
Setting in a honeymoon
(In a honeymoon)
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you
Me and you
Setting in a honeymoon
If I woke up next to you
If I woke up next to you..

FOB!!

cry and weep

"oh. my. gosh. koko! you missed my call! it was from kenny!"

i said his name with an uncertain fear.

"huh? what?"
"i didn't bring my phone to ballet! didn't you hear it?"
"uhm. no."
"aiyaaa! mooomm!"
"what what?"
"kenny called! probably about the auditions!"

heart thumping. holding out hope. desperation creeps in.
if nicole got a part maybe i could've gotten one too.

"call him then. nah, use my phone."
"oh my gosh oh my gosh."

phone rings.
deet deet. deet deet.

"hello?"
"kenny? hi its kate. you called? sorry i didn't pick it up, i was in ballet and i left my phone at home."
"oh! hi kate. no wonder its so late. ah, okay. its about the auditions. the results are out."
"uhhuh? and?"

holding out hope.

"and uh, sorry to say, but you didn't get a part."

too much hope.

"oh."

"yeah, i'm really sorry but thank you for making time to come for the auditions anyway..."

everything just started to fade. kenny turned into a buzzing in my ear. i said "yes" and "uhhuh" when it sounded appropriate. i wasn't listening anymore.

"thanks kenny. bye."

"bye."

"well?"

"i didn't get a part, mom."

"oh."

"yeah. good night"

a lump starts to rise in my throat. quick kate, get out the door. rising higher. just get to your room now. sara is sleeping. i touch my doorknob - and the whole world starts to swim. i didn't get the part. i didn't get any part at all.

i sit in bed and sob. what was i thinking? that i would get the part? that i would get a part? how did that get into my head? why did i think that if maybe nicole could get a part, i could have gotten one too? did i screw up that badly? i try to sleep, try to erase these but they come flooding forth along with pints of tears.

aren't i good enough for them?

aren't i good enough?

all i needed was one chance.

i got that. i screwed it up.

i just had to prove to myself i was good enough. to do this.

but i guess i wasn't.

now what? how am i going to face nicole tomorrow? samantha? marcia? they all thought i would be cool about not getting a part.

but i'm not.

and if they asked if i was okay?

well, i'm not.

what was it i did wrong?

did meegee think i was too stiff?

did may gan think i was terrible?

did kenny think i was too fat?

WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN HOW WHY.

negative crap went through my head, hitting, biting, kicking, slapping me straight in the face. i felt like i was in a barrel being thrown about at sea. kate you're not good enough. not lively enough, not happy enough, not compassionate enough, not pretty enough, not anything enough. boy, the devil sure was having a field day, huh? so i did something i hadn't done in a really really long time.

i prayed.

and i managed to sleep. of course i woke up with puffy eyes. but oh well.

congratulations, everybody who got a part. to everybody who didn't, i'm sorry too. maybe we can be unsung heroes once again. *smiles sadly*

just say the word.

auditions

i was walking into school today and i started to think about my auditions. i thought, did i do well? would i get the part? would i get any part at all? if i didn't what would i do? was i going to freak out or cry or something? and if i did get the part, how was i going to redo my schedule? will the practices interfere with my tuitions and ballet and stuff like that? will there be alot of them, will i be able to make it to them all the time, could i be as commited as i'm expected to be? all these and more were running through my head. and i was thinking back, saying to myself, they should smile more when you go into the audition room. they shouldn't have chosen the piano room, it was too white and felt too much like going into a death room or something. there were to many mirrors, i felt so fat looking at myself in those mirrors. i didn't think i made a good impression. maybe meegee shouldn't have been there. maybe she should have. my pitching went off. was i good enough? was i bad beyond comprehension?

anyway. i was walking along, thinking about all this negative crap, trying to look at the positive and not really being able to find any. i looked around. people were still walking about talking about boys and clothes, doing their schoolwork, last minute homework and i thought, how can the world still go on? i guess it can. the world doesn't stop when you're sad or upset. it keeps going and going and it doesn't stop for you. and tht means, you'll just have to go along with the world, right? sometimes you an take a breather but you always have to go back. go back to the old routines, trying out new ones, maybe succeeding, almost not. but one thig's for sure : i had to tell myself, God's got a plan. and if its part of His plan tht you be in this musical, then you will be in it. if its not, maybe He's got something better in mind for you.

so thats my recap of the auditions. i hope i make it though. i do i do! ><

MY CBOX APPEARS TO NOT BE WORKING! PHILIP! HELP!

anyway. i don't really have much to say here. i have exams starting tomorrow! wah.. T.T who wants to do exams on a SATURDAY? well you gotta say, these people have some brains at least right? they know how to get people to come to school.. aah the evils of school. and mine is the only school having class tomorrow!!even my bm teacher said they're crazy.

i have auditions tomorrow too. auditions!!!! scary. ><>

i'm having blogger's block again. anysa suggested i start a blog writing random topic essays in it. i think i will!

the road outside my door is paved with good intentions

ivan. FOB ROCKS. XD

school is starting tomorrow. dammit! *sigh* i don't wanna go back. whats more we've got exams coming up. i think mine's like next week or something. anyway. our hip hop teacher is pregnant!! omg, right. but she's only been married about a year or so, so congrats to her. but tht means tht hip hop is gonna be stopped for, oh, i don't know. she's getting a replacement for the rest of this month and march but after that, who knows. maybe we shall get kenny to do it.. x) yo ho ho.. whooaaa...

i have blogger's block. its a disease, says lynette. i agree. lets see. what shall i rant about?

try nothing. you got me there. how about crank? lol. its a book i got a while ago. its quite interesting, i guess you can say that. about a girl who gets hooked on drugs. gets beaten up, raped and hooked onto more drugs. then she finds out she's preganant. she keeps the baby. this is actually a true story based loosely on the author's family. the girl is her daughter. its kinda sad once you think about it. getting hooked is like a disease. a real one. it eats you up and it takes over you and soon it becomes what you live, eat, breathe, it becomes everything. you don't even have to be under any kind of pressure to be hooked. all it takes is a smidgen of temptation and boom - there you go. i mean, in this story, she goes to visit her drugged up dad and there she gets hooked. she was actually a really good girl but then she went there and met a guy and he introduces her to the wonderful world of drugs and the saddest thing is that her dad actually eggs her on, encouraging her, actually telling her what different drugs do forher. not to her. for her. makes her high, makes her happy, makes her light, makes her feel on top of the world. but when she comes down, she comes down real hard. she goes home and finds more people on drugs, and there she starts getting worse, seeing dealers, buying and dealing to others, meets another girl to get high with and falls into what she calls the monster's game, and only he knows the rules. there are many ways to get down with the monster. you can snort it, smoke it, crush it and drink it. but when you come down

you

come

down

real

HARD.

joy oh joy

ghost rider. they should not have used nicholas cage. i repeat, they should NOT have used nicholas cage. they should have used johnny depp because johnny depp is WAY hotter. and a better actor. nicholas cage is so uglieeeeeeee. i bet eva mendes is now washing her mouth out with toilet cleaner. oh, and the sales of wonderbras are SURE to go out the roof. zoooom! hahaha.. oh, but.. the young johnny blaze was SO HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aieeeeeeeeeeee! sammie, right, right?? XD

fallout boy's infinity on high rocks. but, oh so clever me, i left it in nikki's place. *bashes head on wall* stupid stupid stupid. no wait, their touring manager is the stupid one. WHY CAN'T THEY COME HERE?? i do not see whats so wrong about them coming here. to malaysia. to kl. NOT TO SINGAPORE. i mean, HELLO?! you expect ME to go THERE? i say, pay me. T.T i want fallout boy to come heeerrreee...... why can't they come heeeerreee....

oh yeah. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SAMMIE! and SU YEN! lol. hope you liked your patrick sammie. squishy patrick. *squish squish* anyway. hope you guys had great birthdays. and happy birthday to my cousin john. stop smoking, or i shall die faster than you. XD then you will carry tht to your grave, mua ha ha ha ha. not tht you read this anyway.

happy chinese new year! ^^

food food and more food. @.@ my goal for not gaining any weight this chinese new year may never be accomplished. oh well! i get paid at least. XD

i can finally get online!!!!!! and and and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TZE QUAAAANNN!! not tht u come online and read blogs ANYWAY. :P i'm just happy i can come online.

today went to nikki's place. watched half of fast and furious tokyo drift and watched ming yue grovel to nicole to go back to her place to watch the rest *hem hem, ming yoooo*. yeah, then khai, nikki, sammie and me went for dinner coz sammie was celebrating her birthday. its tomorrow by the way. yeah, it was fun, eating *alot* and then walking around and talking about crap. XD right guys right?! haha.. yeah then went back to sammie's place and had cake while they played cho tai ti. is that how you spell it? i have no idea. hmm and khai got sammie these really REALLY pretty earrings *hem hem khaii*. yeah, i liked them. and loads of sweets!!! i got her a *toooot tooot*. not to be revealed until tomorrow lest she reads this post anytime between tonight and tomorrow morning. going to watch ghostrider with isaac, ben and sammie tomorrow. awesomenessosity eh eh.

okay. i'm gonna go to sleep now. dead tired from partying and drinking all night long. omg, i'm such a bad liar! *says it like bimbo blonde*

I GOT THE FALLOUT BOY CD! THANK YOU KOR!!!!!!!!!!!

why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton?
because it said "concentrate".
*courtesy of anysa*

Jesse Mccartney - Just So You Know

I shouldn't love you
but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you
but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

it's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

just so you know, this is the faults of nicole, geogyiana and moghana. @.@

valentines... *mmwwaah*

all the adverts for valentines day... deals, special offers, prices going up on gifts, jewelry, chocolates and roses.. love is in the air.. hearts are flying around.. smiles are lighting up.. it makes you think..

does this mean valentines day is overrated??

i don't know. maybe all the publicity that runs around it is. my mom just leaned over and said :

YES VALENTINES DAY IS OVERRATED AND EXPENSIVE.

maybe a little.
well, okay, abit more than that.
okay, okay, okay, so its quite overrated.
alright, alright. yes. it is OVERRATED.
but people like it.
i wonder why.
do you know?

think you could tell me? :p

*ooze ooze*

spongebob squarepants is the stupidest cartoon i have ever seen in my entire life.

why?
a) its brainless.
b) he's gay and has an annoying voice.
c) ITS JUST STUPID.

so why are all you people addicted to it?!?! i tried watching it the other day and i could feel my BRAINS oozing out of my ears (as i've been telling everyone).

*ooze ooze* slowly.. dripping... my head feels light..

but i do like mr crab. the money minded idiot. XD

so sue me!

woot woot

marcia n me in front of auntie poh yoke's garden.

marcia and martin. aww!

guess which hands are mine.

maximum cam whores, yeah!

fflloowweerrss...


banana cake!

two hot mamas. XD

yes.. there you have, a day of pictures. XD

enjoy!

darn.

mann! i wanted to upload pics of marcia n moi by the poolside last sunday but my stupid uploading thingy isn't working. better luck next time!

anyway. i never asked. how are my readers (if i have any left) doing? tired of listening to my self.. pitiful.. ness, i think.. XD i have figured the source of my bad moods and feeling sorry for myselfness. its from all this heat!!! omg, it just GETS to me so bad, its unbelievable. first, i feel like my skin is dry and burning up. then i start to get sweaty. thats not so bad. then the ITCHYNESS kicks in. omg, i cannot STAND being itchy. its just like.. aargh! and then the heat makes me feel tired and sluggish and when i DO sleep i wake up feeling like i was just put into an oven and i'll be sweating and all and i'll just feel really terrible. so there you are. mom says i have to learn to curb my temper. i just think i should lug an icebox full of ice and bring powder and a towel with me wherever i go. @.@

yup, so there's the reason for my angernosity and bad moods. cheerio, i feel better now!

feeling blue.

fat days are blue days.

i have fat days. usually i have none to one a week. this week, i've had THREE.

this CANNOT be good. @.@

fat days. yuck. i hate the sound of them. bleaghh... fat fat fatty days.

BLEH!

oh well. tomorrow its merentas desa. OH NO. i hate merentas desa. being forced to run. yuckety yuck yuck.

its tres awesome though, when i got to wear my bikini to go swimming last sunday. it wasn't a fat day! lol. good day good day. i want a good non-fat day. @.@

i must be going crazy. don't listen to my mindless ramble.

suffering..

i am SUFFERING. suffering from..

hottie deprivation.

ah, the throes of an all girl's school. no hotties. no uglies even!!

unless i become a lesbo. NOT LIKELY. sigh.

so here i am. liking you only because i have no one else to like. or maybe i'm becoming shtupit. or crazy. whichever.

i still love you even if i think i'm shtupit to do so.

a secret i've been keeping for so long, i've kept so well.

"RESONATE"

resonate was awesome. we didn't get to take alot of pictures, but it was still awesome. btw, awesome is my new favourite word XD.

when i got there, the first person to spot me was shammie, in the carpark. chanette and sarah voon too. then we went up and helped mom set up the booth for the men's camp thingy with my dad. mel came behind me and tickled me, she was LUCKY i didn't scream okay! i was on the verge of it, she scared me half to death. anyway, then nick saw us too and sara saw marcia, so we went in and it was all dark, i couldn't see anything! there were lights at the stage, thankfully. so we went there and found marcia and dropped our bags then i went out to find nicole. found her, grabbed her and dragged her in. we found tze quan too! and i made a new friend from china, her name is faith. dunno if i'll see her again though. hope so! ^^

at first, it didn't seem like alotta ppl were there but they started the praise and worship anyway, and it was so AWESOME!!! hahah... the exist band rocks. as the music started, more and more people came in. lynette arrived and told us khai couldn't come, awwww.. marcia and i were disappointed. but some things can't be helped, i guess. we wished you were there khaii!! ^^ then, yeah, JUWITA SUWITO CAME AND SANG!!!! she's awesome, she really is. oh yeah, and to my dear ms. kow, your dear *ahem ahem* was like on the stage the WHOLE time eh *nudge nudge*. anyway, yeah, then ps lee choo came and gave her sermon. she was so KEE-YOOT! i loved her pants and shoes. tze quan said she looked like a pop star *kekk kekk*! but she was so cute, jumping up and down and squealing and everything!!! then we had to pray for the parents, and i felt this hand pull at me and it was emilyn's mom. so i pulled lynette with me. ><

AND I MET JUWITA SUWITO IN THE LIFT! SHE SIGNED MY PURSE AND WE GOT A PICTURE!!!!!! yay meee, yay meeee. well, thats it folks. love you guys! khai and sammie, wish you guys were there too. :) next time yah!

death by homework

my home work says :

*die die*
*stabstab*
*bleedbleed*

shtupit homework.

I WANT A FAMOUS FACE (not)

okay, i know this is a weird topic, but i so happened to be reading so much about it i thought it may be a good thing to blog about. plus, once you hear the extreme measures people go through, you'll be stunned. i was, its crazy.

plastic surgery.

*everyone's eyes pop*

hahah... i just read this book called 'fix' and an article in Girlfriend magazine. according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (betcha never knew it existed!), teens account for 4% of the US plastic surgery market - a 14% rise since 2003.

why are teens doing this for? well, for one thing, you only have to step out into the malls and there you'll find the answer. we can see those osim uzap girls parading around one utama and ikano and we see newsstands with magazines with these supah hot models and celebrities on them posing and then we see these gorgeous skinny things floating around with hotties anging on their arms panting and drooling and showing them off like prized trophies. areyou surprised? has society brainwashed us to see these as "beautiful"? so much so that girls who are considered as "fat" or "tubby" will go to extreme measures just to look like one of these little things, just so we can fit into what the society, what the world sees as "beautiful". extreme measures are? crash diets to extreme makeovers to going under the knife to physically alter your body.

however. most teens don't realize the risks and trauma they're putting their bodies through. all they want is the end result, what they see when the plastic surgeon digitally alters their image and thts what they see.

as with any medical procedures, there are always risks and side effects. negligence claims against plastic surgeons who've done botched jobs has jumped more than 70% between 1995 to 2004. industry experts blame it on the increasing number of unqualified cosmetic doctors and a boom in overseas surgery. more and more young girls are going to Asia where they canhave their surgeries done at a fraction of the cost of an Australian clinic. unfortunately, many of these so called cosmetic surgeons are NOT qualified, leadig to disastrous results - from hideous scarring to infected breast implants to failed tummy tucks. one young australian woman ended up with a 2cm bald strip across her scalp after a bptched eyebrow lift in thailand, another returned home with no cleavage after her breast enlargement ended in disaster while another's breast implants ended up as high as her collarbones. if that wasn't scary enough, there is also the risk of hepatitis and HIV *adapted from Australian magazine, Girlfriend*

but some teens actually know all the risks, all the procedures, all the side effects. so why do they still do this? think about it. turn around. look! there's jessica simpson in her hot pants strutting around. turn around the other way. look! there's paris hilton in her flesh showing dresses and the shrinking bodays of nicole richie and lindsay lohan. these are considered "the perfect bodies". are they really? if you ask me they look plain awful, but look what the world has brainwashed us into thinking. i have friends *guilty as charged, you know who you are!* who look perfect to me, saying "i'm so fat now! i need to get skinnier" and quite often i feel like screaming. these people are already in their perfect shape, these people are all of twelve and thirteen and already they're talking about diets and exercise regimes. i mean, hello?!?!!? what the heck is going on around here? are we doing this to please people around us or to please ourselves. i can tell you, three quarters of it is trying to please others. i wanna be skinny too, but i know that i wanna be skinny just to please others, to be goggled at, but its not the life for me. who WANTS to have to worry about how many calories are in your next meal? who WANTS to have to constantly worry about what other people think? who WANTS to go through everyday knowing the only reason they're beautiful is because its NOT real? who WANTS to go through everyday having to worry about they're silicone boob implants breaking and leaking or having to worry about the cost of their next surgery?

certainly NOT the life for me. what about you?

i've been thinking about this question ALOT lately, way more time than i should be using to think about it, but oh well.. the question is, what is real love to me and to the people around me?

well.. my answer to that question would be this : i truly believe that love is a friendship on fire. i want my lover to be my best friend as well. real love is when the thought of that one special person just touches your mind and you feel all happy and you just smile. when you can go around all day and not have to worry about them all the time but yet thet're always on your mind. when you want to let them know you love them and when you just say "i.." they finish the sentence for you. love is when you can talk to that person about anything and everything, whether it makes sense or not. its when they laugh with you when you're happy or cry with you when you're sad. they know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. when trials come your way, they do their best to protect you or to help you. its when you KNOW that things are gonna work out fine just because they are there. they don't have to like the same things you do, and they know how to make you talk and laugh and smile and argue with them in a friendly manner. you don't have to touch or kiss or hold hands, all you have to do is look at them and smile and you know you're loved, you're safe, you're wanted and you're needed. when you KNOW that yeah, THIS is the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with because they make you feel comfortable, they allow you to make your mistakes and they hold your hand throught he consequences, you wanna spend your life with them because of the sole reason, that you love them.

so yup, thats it. what about you guys?

when i was small..

when i was small (and still undeniably adorable) i used to have these big big dreams. i mean, really big. i was gonna grow up and get good good grades in school, so good that my mommy was gonna tell everybody how good i was. then i would go to the best college or university in the world and when i finished there, i was going to be rich and famous, a singer or a dancer or something. everyone, EVERYONE was gonna love me and the world was gonna kiss my feet (i was extremely ambitious. some people may say i was kiasu XD). i'd buy a mansion for my parents and let them have their own servants and everything.

and then my love life would kick in. hahaha.. i was such a dreamer about my love life, i'm a sucker for romance.. well.. then one day, i would be just walking around looking at something and then he would see me as a vision of pure simple beauty.. he'd come up to me and ask my name. and everything would escalate from there, he'd take me on the most romantic dates, candlelit dinner, picnics by the beach, everything you can think of.. he would do the cutest things for me like leave notes on my door and flowers and chocolates on my doorstep.. and when i was sad he would come and cuddle up with me and tell me everything would be okay.. and then one night, when we were sitting under the stars, he would suddenly propose to me.. and yup.. we'd get married in a beautiful church and live in an amazing house..and the rest.. is inside my head, you guys don't need to know.. :P

anyway.. today was the first day back in nst! we were supposed to write letter to our future selves.. and well, i haven't gotten round to doing that yet.. maybe the next post i will.. anyway, its getting late and i have tuition at 8am tomorrow morning.. so good night ppl! :)

MOMMIEEEE! and forgotten person, heheh

thish ish for my mommy... :D

mommy, i love yah, i love yah love yah love yah... ^^ thanks for the whole of 2006 and thirteen years before that. i want you to know that you really are the greatest mom i can have especially when you're the only one i have! :) thanks for all the times that you've listened to me and the times that you heard me talk. i hope you know how much i appreciate you for all that. i'm sorry for eveything wrong i've done to you, the lies, the disappointments.. everything.. i hope you forgive me and i hope we'll put it behind us and move into the new year with no more burdens and hurts.. i love you, truly i do! :) *mwaah* i just hope you know that as we go through more trials and more tribulations, that you know i'll be there when you need o vent or something.. lol.. :) God bless, i love you!!!!!!

people i forgot to put into the first post! sowee!

marcia : i love you my cousin! hahaha.. you're more like my good friend than that and most people do NOT believe that we're related.. :P here's some advice ><

1. STOP being negative about yourself.
2. stop BEING negative about yourself.
3. stop being NEGATIVE about yourself.
4. stop being negative ABOUT yourself.
5. stop being negative about YOURSELF.

yay! move into the new year HAPPY! :) PS. if you talk about money again, i swear i'm gonna take it all away from you. *grins* i love yah!

tze quan : two words: you rock. and thats ALL i need to say. :)

isaac : you are so weird.. :P hahaha.. but i'm glad to have met you in 'click click carrot and stick' and i hope we'll continue to be friends! i hope that all through 2007, i'll get to know you better.. and expect late night calls from me asking you about math homework, okay? can't say i warned you.. :D love yah! :)

and i think thats it.. :) bye all!

new year, new days, new starts and new relationships

happy new year everybody! it seems like just yesterday i was reminiscing about 2006.. wait, it was just yesterday.. hehe.. :) anyway.. here goes.

people i wanna acknowledge for seeing me through the year of 2006.

nicole : last year marked the 10th year of our friendship and i felt that God really put our friendship to the ultimate test last year. you tested my faith, my strength and especially, my patience *keekee*. thank you for being there for me when i needed you and for being blunt when i needed it most. for being real to me and for being such a pain in my ass. that helped me build my patience, lol. most of all, i'm glad i met you 10 years ago because if i hadn't, God knows where i would be right now. thank you, biatch, i love you.i wanna apologize if i have done any wrong towards yo and i hope you will forgive me as i forgive you the wrongs you have done towards me, intentional or unintentional. :)

samantha : i have gotten to know you so much better through the past year and i have seen you grow and become a more matured person than you were when you first came. you broke your bondages and you were set free. a piece of advice : don't let the throes of "love" get to you. you are so young and have so much more to learn about it. love is something that cannot be comprehended easily and cannot be forced or pushed. i pray for you that this year will be a year of learning of what exactly love is. thanks for all the late nights and smses and chats and thank you for keeping my secrets. i hope that even as or friendship grows, that i will know you better and i hope i can be of help to you. i'm sorry for any wrongs and i sincerely hope you forgive me. i forgive you for your wrongs because i know that none of them were intentional. i love you. :)

shammie : first off, i want to apologize for isolating you and for ignoring you even when i saw how clearly you crying out for help. i hope you forgive me. it was simply awkward to talk to you after all the "stories" i heard. that was very wrong of me and i sincerely apologize. even as this is the new year, i pray we will start afresh a new friendship. i pray this year will be a great ear for you, of learning and of loving unconditionally. i hope that this year, you will learn not to depend on boys or even other people, but you will learn to depend on God more and more. He loves you so so much. do what pleases Him and He will bless you. :)

nick : thank you, nick. thank you for everything this year. i apologize if i hurt you in any way, and i know i have. please forgive me, for i did it out of the best of intentions. i hope that you will find peace in a new start and in a new year. i pray that you will learn to depend on God more than ever. and i pray for a good friendship. i know that you go through alot of hardships and i want you to know that, hey, man will fail you. again and again and again. but you know what? you have inside your heart a God who loves you, protects you and who loves you unconditionally. He will never ever fail you. He will carry you when you are too tired to walk anymore and when you look back on your life, you will see only one set of footprints when you in times of trial. those are the times He carries you. He died for you. He rose again. He loves you. and He will not fail you. God bless you. :)

michelle proctor : okay, not like you will EVER read this blog, i don't expect you too. but here's what i wanna say : i have so much respect for you. your perseverance and your amazing faith in God. reading your story in the 10th anniversary publication has inspired me and given me faith. i'm glad i had the oppurtunity to work alongside you before you left for england. i pray you will find your calling there and may God be with you wherever you go. God bless you, miss michelle proctor, and i will never forget you for your hard work and scoldings*hahaha..*. :)

timothy : remember the times in the old church buildings when a group of us would go into the dome or the dance room and just talk about everything under the sun? i remember those times well and those were the best times. now : what has happened to the timothy we knew? he is now an introvert and appears to be dependant on people, especialy the opposite sex. tim.. i miss the old tim. the one who wasn't afraid to spell out his opinions and feelings and who was dependant on the only One who truly loved him. i pray that this year, you will begin to get to know yourself better. spiritually. what we see now is a shadow of your former self. you are no longer there. there is only so much that we, as your friends, can help you with. but i am confident that God is able to guard what you have entrusted Him. don't misuse that trust, tim. God loves you and we love you and we hope you will come back to being the timothy we knew. i just wanna be your friend and i will try. but you have to want to help yourself. i pray for you everyday. :) come back, tim, come back. we truly miss you.

philip : we didn't talk much last year! but thank you anyway for listening to me when i opened my big mouth and started babbling about nonsense that you probably didn't even care about.. :P well, i hope that we'll get to talk more about stuff and yeap, you take care. we're gonna miss you if you go away! don't go away... :( hahha.. well, i hope you know when God has called you there! :)

melissa tee : i love you my dahling! even when you open your big fat mouth.. >:3 well, we all do that, don't we? hahaha.. i've gotten to know you so much better all through last year and i hope that we shall remain friends throughout the conflicts and trials we always have! i hope you will find peace and a place to put your burdens, your hurts, your regrets and your pains down. God is willing to take them away from you if you will only just let Him. He is all too willing to do that for you. God bless you my dear! i love you loads. :)

ivan : you truly are one of the horniest guys i know!!!!!!!!! hahaha.. :P but we love you for it, i guess.. hahah.. i have a new year's resolution for u! stop writing like an ah beng in your smses, its annoying!!!!!! lol.. i guess thats what makes you you.. anyway.. i'm so glad i know you, if i didn't i'd probably cry when somebody calls me 'city girl'.. and yup.. i'm glad to have shared your romantic escapades with you and i'm glad to have been with you through them.. i wanna apologize if there's anything i've done to offend you *like being anoying, i do that alot* and i hope you forgive me.. i love you man, you're my good friend. God bless! you'll become a great leader.

inessa : girl, you're name wil go down in history some day! i admire your creativity, your originality and your confidence. watching you at your artwork is inspiring and i think its just incredible!i'm really glad that i got to know you even during the mother daughter thingy and you've truly been a blessing to me. :) i mean it, you are. keep being incredible, keep being original. thats what i truly love about you. just keep being who you are inessa! there's no need to be anyone else. :P

khai weng : heyy kura.. first off, i wanna apologize to you because i know i piss you off alot.. :P i don't know why, it just happens.. well, i'm sorry about it and i hope you can forgive me.. sorry i'm annoying and irritating, its just how i am at times... but hey, thats me. i hope you can accept me like that. anyway, getting to know you since kidzone boot camp has been a blessing to me and i hope to get to know you better even in 2007. i pray God will give you the patience to put up with me and my annoyingness.. XD God bless you!! i hope you won't feel lonely again.. :)

lynette : mommy! lol. thanks for being there at awkward times *you know* and for just being my friend. you're a great person and i just know that God will mould you and shape you into a woman of His Word. just keep going strong because i know you're facing some trials right now. but remember that, we're your friends, you can talk to us anytime. :)

to everybody else i've met this year, debbie, may gan, i love you guys and i hope you guys will continue to love! :)